From now on I’m watching the majors with a 6-pack of Guinness and some boxty
Posted on 16. Aug, 2010 at 2:00 am by Meerkat in PGA Golf
God damn! I’m tired of waiting for America’s golf super-hero Tiger Woods to hack his way outta his messy divorce and slump. Enough! Done! Well, maybe until he rips apart Augusta next spring.
Whatever.
I’m jumping on board the Rory McIlroy bandwagon right now. The kid is somebody to get behind. He’s only 21 and hangs with all the older dudes on the links. Just look at the rankings … the kid is currently 7th in the world.
Maybe if we all ceased hanging out in the Tiger waiting room, he’d finally bust out destroy a field and don the USA super-hero cape once again.
But you-know-what … I walked out of the Tiger waiting room. I’m tired of the stale donuts he was serving up in there. He used to serve up a gut-filling Sunday brunch every weekend … but now we get the Continental breakfast.
Fuck that! I’m still used to that 32oz Bloody Mary I’d drink for breakfast at the Woods golf brunch (or poolside at the Paris in Las Vegas ). A donut and cereal with milk is not what I want Eldrick! Ugh.
I feel so unsatisfied.Â
[yeah, that was a rounders quote for you movie buffs][teddy KGB is the man, you know it, I know it]
Don’t get me wrong, I will walk back into the Tiger Cafe with a major win. But I’m not so sure that will happen any time soon. If I’m gonna follow, or get excited about golf, then I need to get behind some ball-striker that isn’t worried about where his kids are staying the night, nor on the phone with his lawyer every day. Sorry, Eldrick. You still the man. But I’m gonna get behind some kid that doesn’t care that his fro is more reminiscent of some 70′s female porn-star’s nether region.
Yup, you heard me Tiger. I know Scott Van Pelt will continue to give hope as to when you are gonna bust out. But no, I’m tired of waiting.
[It's kinda like being a bachelor and chillin at the bar waiting for some random hot chick to walk in to hit on ... sometimes you gotta realize that switchin bars is the right play and not waiting around watching the door]
I paid my tab and I’m rolling down the street to the Irish bar to dig in and get cozy with some McIlroy game. I got some Irish blood in me, so I don’t feel too guilty about the switch. That and the fact potatoes can be consumed many different ways. I’m startching up fucker!
Waitress! Can I have and order of boxty, blood sausage, and a pint of Guinness … please!
And if my pint glass ever has less than 4 ounces of beer in it, your tip is reduced to 10%!
10 Responses to “From now on I’m watching the majors with a 6-pack of Guinness and some boxty”
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23. Jul, 2011
[...] off the deep end … Steve Williams was his right hand man whether he admits it or not. Rory is the man now, just give the Irish lad a big hug and accept it already. Cuz ya know, Rick Reily is strapping on [...]
Tom
16. Aug, 2010
I am still waiting for the SVP and Ryen firing show. They suck ASS. Ryen is such a fucking idiot. I know that fuck talks to himself at home because he loves the sound of his own voice.
Tiger sucks, Meerkat, get over it. I told you time and time again, yet you kept sucking on his nut and you continue to do so.
Meerkat
16. Aug, 2010
Tiger is still #1 in the world Tom.
A proper response would have been: “Tiger sucks, but not as much as everyone else”
Mick
16. Aug, 2010
The “Tiger sucks” comments are getting extremely old. Until someone knocks him off the #1 spot in the world, the guy is still the best around. I’m not a fan of the guy as a golfer because he’s a dick on the course, but he’s still the best around… Phil had a shot to knock him off the top spot but he shit down his leg like the rest of the world does when they have a chance to knock him off.
You know what, we also went nearly a week without you calling someone a fag or taking about sucking on nuts. Way to comeback strong weak with more fag smack Tom.
Tom
16. Aug, 2010
If the PGA said bill clinton was the best around would you believe that too? Everyone knows those rankings are fucked up.
Mick
16. Aug, 2010
Another random, meaningless response from Tom…. Who is this “everyone” that apparently believe that world golf rankings are “fucked up”? You and your three (and I mean ONLY three) loser friends who shoot 100+ every weekend at the local muni do not count as everyone. Anyone who’s actually understands how to play golf at a high level knows best player has been for the past 15 years.
Seriously man, your sports takes belong on the View. At least then you’d have a SLIM chance to sound like you know what you’re talking about with those five idiot women….
stake
16. Aug, 2010
Lol.
+1 Mick’s 2nd paragraph.
bbryan
16. Aug, 2010
Tom’s right that the PGA rankings are screwy, he’s wrong that Tiger sucks. Tiger just set the bar way too high for a golfer.
What’s wrong with shooting 100+ at the local muni?
/the TSB team
3D
16. Aug, 2010
Ha ha! The View!
Mick
16. Aug, 2010
How are the world rankings unjust/screwy? It’s a basic point system that gives a weighted average to each performance on the 6 major golf tours that are make up the International Federation of PGA Tours. I will give you that the 2-year rolling totals seem odd to those of us used to sports (baseball, football, etc) that have dedicated start and end dates, but golf tours do not have these set start and end dates. There are events on these tours that happen year round, with multiple events in a single weekend. Pro golfers play all over the world on several tours in a single year, thus making the start and end dates for golf really hairy for the majority of players…. Thus, the two year time frame for accumulating points towards your world ranking..
It’s far from the simplest ranking via W/L, but at least it’s not the fucking BCS that nobody can figure out. Any idiot with a calculator can calculate where he stands on the tour’s ranking system
http://dps.twiihosting.net/wgr/doc/content/doc_9_94.pdf