Why I Hate Soccer, Reason #7
Posted on 20. Jun, 2010 at 8:01 pm by bbryan in Beer + Stuff, Soccer
In honor of the World Cup I’ll be posting a daily reason on why I hate soccer. The numbers are just for keeping track, these are not in order of importance. There are so many reasons to hate soccer that it would take too long to try and rank them. The other reasons can be found here. 1 2 3 4 5 6
“You don’t get it because you don’t play it.” “Educate yourself first.” “It’s the strategy.” These are just a sampling of the things I hear from soccer fans after they read one of my hater posts. Thing is I do understand a descent amount of it. Believe me it’s not that hard to pick up on the basic strategies, it takes about 10 minutes worth of reading time. I wouldn’t write these posts completely uneducated. I know dribbling around and passing the ball back and forth to one-named Euros who need a bath and a haircut is “strategy.” Just because it has strategy doesn’t make it a good game and it certainly doesn’t make it exciting or watchable. Hell the game with probably the most strategy in the world is chess. I play it, understand the strategy and could follow along quite well during a match. I still wouldn’t watch more than :15 seconds of it either live or on TV because it is a boring spectator sport. So why don’t I hate chess? The difference is chess doesn’t get jammed down my throat as some great spectacle like soccer does. I don’t have a bunch of chess nerds telling me how beautiful their game is, or how creative they are, or how I don’t like it only because the USA sucks at it. The USA kicks ass at softball, take a flying guess if I watch that either. Again the difference is that it’s not jammed down my throat.
Listen, I don’t care if it’s the worlds most popular sport. You know what else was really popular around the world 200 years ago and even still is in some places (looking at you N.Korea soccer team)? Dictatorships. But 234 years ago we told the British empire to suck it and take their shit and get. Included in “their shit” was soccer and ever since we’ve been trying to show the rest of the world how great living in a free country without the need for soccer is. The free country part caught on pretty nicely, hopefully the “without the need for soccer” will soon as well.
9 Responses to “Why I Hate Soccer, Reason #7”
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El Rey
20. Jun, 2010
Sure, we renounced Britain’s sport of choice, but I’m thinking they are getting the last laugh.
Hey America, tell me how an uncontrolled oil leak tastes…
Stake
21. Jun, 2010
Bry- Its a beautiful game, face it. So beautiful that a team(France) is essentially quitting because their team is in shambles. Beautiful. The only reason their even in the torny because they cheated, and scored a goal off a handball. Beauty really.
Ron
22. Jun, 2010
Yes, soccer is boring. That’s why 3 billion people love it with passion. What’s your opinion on that? That the majority of the world has bad taste, but not some people from some random country (yours)? Basketball, American Football, Hockey, Baseball, everyone has seen them. I have nothing against them, but it seems the MAJORITY thinks THEY are uninteresting. Are they more or less boring? Well, the MAJORITY (yes, it matters that much) has decided. If soccer is jammed down your throat, it’s because it sells even there, and the media enjoys the money from it.
Oh, the other sports. They are so good that even the Olympics, packed with most of the popular sports in the world, isn’t bigger than the World Cup. And they had they had to make soccer for under-20 only, otherwise the Olympics would be called World Cup 2 Plus Random Sports.
Move on.
bbryan
22. Jun, 2010
A MAJORITY of the world enjoyed dictatorships until we liberated them during World War II. It’s only a matter of time before we liberate them from soccer.
Vincent
22. Jun, 2010
Thanks, bbryan, i needed a laugh.
We are excepcional, aren’t we.
Stake
22. Jun, 2010
Ron- 3 billion people “love it with a passion” because all you need is a ball to play, therefore all of the 2-3 billion people in poverty can still
play the gamekick a ball. If soccer is the only sport one can play then yes, they will probably love it with a passion. Soccer is a game for simple minded sissies such as yourself.Ron
22. Jun, 2010
Stake- Is that your excuse for why american sports are boring to the MAJORITY?
PATHETIC!
bbryan
22. Jun, 2010
Basketball is spreading like a wildfire through Europe and Asia. Baseball already has through Japan, Central America and the surrounding areas. According to fifa, the world cup in 2006 had half the viewers it did in 1998. Like I said earlier, the rest of the world is starting to catch on to more sophisticated sports.
Just wait until the rest of the world gets their hands on football, it will be game over for soccer.
equis
09. Jul, 2010
Why get the hands on american football, when it’s a disgusting version of rugby for under-athletes?
I say football is and will be the most popular sport in the 5 continents, has been for over 100 years. The rest of them, transitory fashion.