The Suck for Luck Sweepstakes
Posted on 09. Aug, 2011 at 9:18 pm by bbryan in Beer + Stuff, Football, NFL Football
It’s a lock that Andrew Luck will be the top overall pick in next years NFL draft. But only one team can suck enough to land Andrew Luck (although Matt Barkley or Landry Jones will make descent consolation prizes). Let’s see who’s leading the pre-season suck for Luck sweepstakes:
1. Buffalo Bills – The Bills are terrible and are doing nothing to try and change that. Signing Tyler Thigpen to compete with Ryan Fitzpatrick is a sure way to suck. On top of that they play in a very tough division with no hope of winning against the Jets or Patriots. Plus they play the NFC East. They do catch a break by getting the crappy AFC west, but they should be able to overcome that. Mix in a horrible defense and you have a recipe for 1-15.
2. Cincinnati Bengals – Two years removed from their 10-6 season, the Bengals are back to being themselves. Mike Brown is pushing Al Davis in the worst professional sports owner contest. His fight with Carson Palmer is a prime example of that. The Bengals are in prime position to ruin Luck’s career and they play in a tough division where 5-6 losses is a lock.
3. San Francisco 49ers – I’ll give the 49ers this much, no one is trying harder than they are to suck for Luck. They brought in a college coach, they have a stable full of incompetent quarterbacks and they have let key veterans off of their solid defense walk in free agency. But nothing shows their commitment to sucking more than bringing in Braylon Edwards. Bringing in a somewhat talented receiver with a large ego and stone hands when your team has no one to throw him the ball is a brilliant play. Edwards could easily destroy that locker room by week 5. The only thing holding the 49ers back is that awful division they play in. It will take a Herculean effort to not win more than 2-3 games this year.
4. Washington Redskins – I don’t see year two going any better for the Mastermind than year one did. In fact it could get worse. This team sucks, no way around it. The offense is exceptionally bad. Another team playing in a tough division, no freebies for the Skins. The question is
5. Oakland Raiders – The Raiders are always a grease fire and this year will be no different. It’s hard to see them lucking their way into 8 wins this year. The loss of Nnamdi Asomugha will obviously hurt, they have no quarterback and Al Davis is still in charge. The Raiders have been committed to sucking for over a decade now.
Other Receiving Votes: Denver Broncos (would have made the list if they had traded Orton); Miami Dolphins (probably should hold the 5-spot, but fuck the Raiders);
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