Hell yeah!!!!

Just dropped a fistful of greenbacks at the local Buffalo Wild Wings!

An order of Mango Habenero wings and beers … my standard BWW night.

That means I am already a couple Ninkasi beers into this late night text dump.  And I got a few more cervesas chillin in the fridge.  What!?!?   You expected family night watching Goonies?!?!

Before I continue to get comfortable on my favorite drunken sofa, I will slam a big glass of Yankee hate and consider for a second if Jorge Posada should be a HOF inductee.

[after he so gracefully has been dismissed from the starting lineup]

Let’s see … 17 seasons … career numbers (as of 8/19) BA .274, HRs 271, 5 all-stars, 5 silver sluggers.

Uhhhhhhh … FUCK NO!  I always hated Jorge.  And seriously, how does a catcher that can’t even catch get into the HOF as a catcher?  He has basically been a DH his career, posing as a catcher, in my mind … not-good-enough.

HIP-HIP-GO-FUCK-UR-SELF-WHORE-HAY!!!!

[ok, I put down the NY hatorade and cracked open another Ninkasi ....... relax!]

Sheesh … after listening to a whole week of the Cliff Harris pullover chatter … isn’t it obvious they all got off just because the officer did not have backup?  If officer guy had a backup dude flying to the scene, (to get his back, duh) we’d have a much bigger scandal on our hands right now.  But since the po-po were busy that night, the Ducks seemingly have escaped a disaster?

At least it gave Clownzano something to write about. My god, that dude slurps up drama like a drunk tapping the last drops of beer onto his tongue at last call … anyone going to Denny’s?!?!

Yes … I’m human … I figured the Stankees would fizzle out after the all-star break.  I am wrong.  Thought their overall oldness would hamper an August run.  So I tip my cap to El Cap-i-tan and the crew.

But bust out your abacus for a second.  Would you take any AL team besides Boston against Philly, Milwaukee or Atlanta in the World Series?  Probably shouldn’t.

All the best pitching is now in the NL.   Pitching wins.

Remember last year’s dream season for the Oregon Ducks?  You should, you’re likely reading this wearing your favorite pair of Ducks shorts while you contemplate on wearing your Chip Kelly visor out to do yard work or play at the local golf course.  Digest this for a second:  in 2010 the Ducks ran the PAC-10 table mostly because they had Stanford in Eugene.  What if Stanford runs the table because they have Oregon at home?

May wanna start scouting Rose Bowl hotels … right?

Whoops!!

Did I just burst your bubble!?!?!?

So sorry.

Am I the only guy that can’t wait for the Yahoo Sports! Investigation Bowl on 9/17 when the Buckeyes  play the Hurricanes in Miami?!?!  All eyes will be on the yachts, night clubs & tattoo parlors that weekend.

Last week I featured a Frank Sinatra video to emphasize the battle for Andrew Luck in the 2011 NFL season (and bbryan drilled deeper).  After watching it again (mostly because Ol’ Blue Eyes is one of the coolest dudes to ever live),  I can’t help but think how awesome it would be if some stud U.S. golfer began “rolling dice” like Ol’ Blue Eyes does in the video after every big ‘made’ putt.

This would be ridiculously awesome on three levels.  1) gambling, 2) coolness [could be the new ‘diceman’], 3) something to piss Euros off when they lose.

Win ,win, win.

Some American, besides Tiger, Phil, or Daly needs to adapt this move NOW to bring American golf back to the forefront … NOW.  I back this totally.  I nominate you Rickie Fowler or Bubba Watson!!  Show some balls … start rolling some god damn dice!!!

Anyone remember Chi Chi Rodriguez?!?

Okay … the beers are gone … Meerkat out.

A lady never flirts with strangers
Shed have a heart, she’d be nice
A lady doesnt’t't wander all over the room
And blow on some other guys dice

Lets keep this party polite
Never get out of my sight
Stick with me baby, Im the guy that you came in with
Luck be a lady tonight

While the rest of the nation is washed over with more Yankees@Red Sox … the REAL series to watch is being played in San Francisco.  So you may wanna tune into FOX around 4 PST Saturday, because ESPN is fo sho playing Yanks/Sox on Sunday night.

Cliff Lee shut them down on Thursday.

Philly was in the middle of pissing all over the boys in orange Friday night when the SF pitcher decided to plunk my boy Victorino on the back.  Brawl ensues.

Hunter Pence would tack on another HR to send the SF beard lovers back to the local trolley service.

By the way, Vance Worley went 7 strong in a big series, dude is money now.

Hey SF, you look scared.

Another reason to not care about Stanks & Red Stockings …. those Texas Rangers are gonna be ready for either of them come playoff time.  Nolan Ryan is one good ol’ boy you don’t disappoint.

And he lays down a bunt!

And I tip my hat to you Erick Aybar.

I have forever hated the unwritten rule that says a fella can’t bunt while a pitcher is tossing a no-no.

Fuck the pitcher!

Half the reason they don’t like the idea is because they don’t wanna have to field their own position to make a play.  Yeah, I’m lookin at you Verlander. The BUNT, is a legit way to get on base.

Hell, if a bunt is just what a team needs to do to screw with a pitcher’s flow, do it.  Get on base, score runs, win the damn game.

Damn pitcher needs to EARN a no-hitter against any way a baller can attempt to get on base.

In a game that requires so much finesse and hand skills instead of brute strength, the can’t-bunt-during-no-no-rule just seems way too macho for the game of baseball.

How I miss the days of you Brett Butler.  [gee, can you tell that i'm a lover of small-ball baseball?]

Is Oregon fan a little baffled that Notre Dame WR Michael Floyd is not missing the opening game this season after getting a DUI in the off-season?  His 3^rd alcohol related brush with the law, actually.  Meanwhile, Duck fan favorite Cliff Harris is missing the LSU game after a speeding incident.

Both coaches named Kelly, different standards?

Hmmmm.

And they’re off!!!

Right now there are at least two NFL teams charging towards a massively large tar pit to see who can be the-most-god-awful-squad-they-can-possibly-be in 2011.

Hellooooooo- 49ers and Seahawks!!!

Answer this question 49er/Seahawk fan- do you go 0-16 to grab Andrew Luck?  Is sacrificing a whole season worth the gamble?  Probably easy to say if you don’t live in SF and certainly easier if you don’t own season tickets.  But what if you did own season tickets?  Could you sit thru 0-16?  I know Jim Harbaugh thinks so.

What’s hilarious about this is the fact they play each other twice!!  Can we just call it the Lady Luck Series?  Let’s go Ol’ Blue Eyes!!

Wow, that NFC West is REALLLY gonna suck this year.  And it seems the AFC North is gonna benefit greatly.  Expect the Ravens or Steelers to grab #1 seed in AFC mostly cuz the AFC East & NFC East are playing each other.

And let’s not count out Denver if they end up trading Orton somewhere.  I don’t forsee that Tebow led offense showing up too often on NFL Red Zone.

Stanford alum John Elway loves him some Andrew Luck as well …  better dump Orton before game one, John, or them boys on the West Coast will get a jump on ya!

Sheeeh … I’m just not that toasted this night … maybe I shoulda picked a lager with a bit more punch on the ABV scale.  DOH!

Oh, don’t worry, I won’t make the same mistake next time.

Don’t call it a comeback
I been here for years
Rockin my peers and puttin suckas in fear
Makin the tears rain down like a MON-soon
Listen to the bass go BOOM
Explosion, overpowerin
Over the competition, I’m towerin
Wreckin shop, when I drop these lyrics that’ll make you call the cops
Don’t you dare stare, you betta move
Don’t ever compare
Me to the rest that’ll all get sliced and diced
Competition’s payin the price

Awwwwwwwwwww …. YEAH!

Your favorite man-rodent is back with a bucket of chilled cervezas!

I’m mixin  things up a bit … no, not talkin rail drinks, I drink almost monogamously Oregon’s juice of the gods … beer.  Mixin like this … I’m tossing mama said knock you out lyrics (leavin out the chorus) in between my mini-rants …why … because I can.  Alright, stop shakin your head and roll the ball out to check this ball game in.  Thanks, I just dusted you and slammed on your crooked skull … get the rock from the ballboy and check it back in.

Let’s go.

How bout them muther-fuckin Pirates battling for the NL Central flag!?!  I am totally backing this.  A Philly/Steel City NLCS would be awesome.  And yeah, I know Colin Cowherd would spit out TV ratings that MLS would laugh at, but fuck it!  It’s a Keystone state NLCS.  You know FOX would roll out all those “We are family” Pirates footage … sweet stuff.  Okay, maybe not sweet, maybe “awesome” before Neil Patrick Harris made awesome so damn …. awesome.

Dave Parker & Willie Stargell … maybe some Kent Tekulve.  Oh fuck yeah.  No baseballer had the combined look of 70s cool and 80s nerd like Mr. Tekulve.  Dude rocked the submarine pitch in those Pirate pajamas.  Tekulve was the man … period.  Oh yeah, “Pops” Stargell could destroy a Spalding or two into the outfield bleachers when he really needed too.

Go get it Cool J …

Don’t u call this a regular jam
I’m gonna rock this land
I’m gonna take this itty bitty world by storm
And I’m just gettin warm
Just like Muhummad Ali they called him Cassius
Watch me bash this beat like a skull
Cuz u know I had beef wit
Why do u riff with me, the maniac psycho
And when I pull out my jammy get ready cuz it might go
BLAAAAW, how ya like me now?
The river will not allow
U to get with, Mr. Smith, dont riff
Listen to my gear shift
I’m blastin, outlastin
Kinda like Shaft, so u could say I’m shaftin
Old English filled my mind
And I came up with a funky rhyme

Later, Yao Ming.  Sorry bro.  I’m gonna miss your skill set and your personality.  That big clunky China-man was a refreshing spill of soy sauce in the Association.  Yao just ran up and down the court, made his shots, blocks, rebounds, and followed them up with that goofy smile of his.  Class dude.  The NBA’s big loss and our loss.  But hey, we still got Melo and Ron-Ron!  Woo-hoo!  (tongue-firmly-in-cheek)

Hey Portland, still wanna hold on to your boy Greg Oden after seeing Yao pack his bags en route to China?  I say, dump the stock … now.  Or as Gordon Gekko would say … “It’s a dog with fleas, kid.”  Don’t keep waiting around for this fella to make good on his “potential”.  He’s gonna get hurt again.  And again.  True, maybe he stays healthy for one glorious season, but do the Blazers really have a championship team?  No.  These brothers can’t even get past round one.  Move on.

Shadow boxin when I heard you on the radio (HUUUH!!!)
I just don’t know
What made you forget that I was raw?
But now I got a new tour
I’m goin insane, startin the hurricane, releasin pain
Lettin you know that you can’t gain, I maintain
Unless ya say my name
Rippin, killin
Diggin and drillin a hole
Pass the Ol’ Gold

OMG!

Can we please get the players and owners of the NFL to agree to this deal so we all can roll back into some normalcy this summer?!?!  When the deal is done … the flurry of free agent signings is gonna be fun to kick back and watch.  NFL ESPN nerds Mort & Adam will be slamming Rockstar energy drinks like bartenders working a double at the boardwalk bar on Labor Day weekend in between live SportsCenter, NFL Live, ESPN Radio interviews … non-stop for probably 5 days straight.  Maybe a drinking game could be conjured up? … like, drink for every bag under Mort & Adam’s eyes during each on location SportsCenter update.

Over/Under on Mort & Adam daily coffee purchases is at 32.5 …. place your bets.

Shotgun blasts are heard
When I rip and kill, at WILL
The man of the hour, tower of power, I’ll devour
I’m gonna tie you up and let you understand
that I’m not your average man
when I got a jammy in my hand
DAAAAAM!!!!! Oooooohh!!
Listen to the way I slaaaaay, your crew
Damage (UHH) damage (UHH) damage (UHH) damage
Destruction, terror, and mayhem
Pass me a sissy so suckas I’ll slay him
Farmers (What!!!) Farmers (What!!!)
I’m ready (we’re ready!!!)
I think I’m gonna bomb a town (get down!!)
Don’t u neva, eva, pull my lever
Cuz I explode
And my nine is easy to load
I gotta thank God
Cuz he gave me the strength to rock
HARD!! knock you out, mama said knock you out

Alright … LL has cooled off … so we’re goin machine gun Kelly style now … and no, I’m not talkin about Chip Kelly (control yourself you Eugene wankers) … you really think I can toss around cases full of 25K cash out to people? … no!   I’m just a dude that loves beer and blogging … get over yourself!

Locked and loaded … fire!

Tiger is falling off the deep end … Steve Williams was his right hand man whether he admits it or not.  Rory is the man now, just give the Irish lad a big hug and accept it already.  Cuz ya know, Rick Reily is strapping on his knee pads right now.  HEYO!!!!

The Mets potential fire sale has me giddy.  Love it.  Unless of course those damn Bravos get Carlos Beltran.  Then I might grimace a bit.  Just a dream sequence … I’d very much enjoy spraying weedkiller over the city of Atlanta right now … just to ensure those bastards don’t make a late run.

Anyone else tired of hearing the name Willie Lyles?!?!?  Sheesh.

After hearing all the US Women Soccer chatter … my thoughts are … the girls did their best.  A lot of us got wrapped up in them winning the finals over the puny Japanese team.  But you know what, them Japs came to play.  They beat Germany.  And yes, the US beat Brazil.  But “domination” in soccer is very similar to “time of possession” in football, it means nothing if you do not SCORE.  The American women did not put the ball in the net, thus … they did not dominate.  I watched the game against North Korea where they had many opps to put them away early and didn’t (US won 2-0, should have been 5-0).  Let’s not hate on them because we all wanted the storybook ending to come true.

Okay, let me translate that last part … we Americans were expecting the happy ending from the little Asian women but didn’t get it, so we had to blame somebody … unfortunately … we pointed blame to the girls who walked us in the door.  Yeah, the adorably cute US girls.

Oh, and never say I’m not a nice guy … in case you did not know … Borders going-out-of-business sale has begun!  I scored a 20% discount on “Moneyball” … cuz I just love geeky-saber stats and movies.  But you can also score a deal on flashy toilet paper as well.

Meerkat out.

That’s right … I’m back.

There was a small army of cold beers in the fridge lookin to battle with me, well, half the F’rs aren’t standing no more.  And I’m not done strangling the rest of their Glass Joe necks just yet.

Let’s kick off this late night BAL special with some love towards Deron Williams.  Dude is jumping on a plane to Turkey to ball with the Euros.  Nice.  I like how he’s gonna let his union reps do their thing while he makes bank across the ocean.  No, I’m not hatin.  I’m appreciatin.  Who’s next?  Certainly, a few more will go, but not a boatload.  It’s the smart play.  From what all the media types are saying it’s gonna be a long, nasty lockout, might as well get paid for your skills while you can.  But how about this little wild scenario … what if a boatload of players found temp employment and the owners decided … FUCK IT!!  Bus in some SCAB players!!  OHHHH NELLIE!!!  What a circus we could have.  We might have ballers (Gilbert?) pullin glocks on each other outside hoops arenas.  Maybe NBA ballers doin drive-bys at the local team’s practice facility.  And yah know Crazy Ron Ron will do something, well, crazy … like maybe jump off a car and attack a fella?  I see a civil war between street-ballers getting their shot and NBA vets hatin on them.  Guys like Jay-Z siding with the Vets and upstart rappers siding with the street ballers.  It all equals entertainment gold.  I already forsee a Spike Lee/Denzel Washington 2 part movie deal out of this fictional alcohol induced oracle vision I have.  Bill Simmons would be torn … he’d be agonizing over zero NBA games, but on the other hand he’d be giddy with juicy NBA gang related altercations.  Yes, it could happen and my beer-soaked cranium brought it to light first.

[random sinker ball]

Jammin to the YouTube Mix Pearl Jam is how I roll on these late night blogging adventures.

[some NBA fastballs]

Some belated NBA Draft thoughts … because I can.  If you feel the need to make a sandwich and skip a paragraph or two, go ahead, I won’t hate you, but Jesus might.

How do grown men not love this man?

I was in MAN CRUSH HEAVEN on draft night with Jay Bilas (aka Lord Bilas) and Jeff Van Gundy sittin side-by-side giving NBA Draft analysis.  Can we just toss in Marv Albert to form the greatest basketball game announcing team evah?  Name a trio better than that … I triple fuckin dare you.  (the “triple” is supposed to scare you into fetal position, if it didn’t work, bring it, or don’t).

Anyone remember a guy named Vinny Johnson aka “The Microwave”?  That is who Jimmer Fredette is gonna be in the NBA.  Jimmer is a guy that jumps off the bench when the coach needs instant offense, no defense.  Kinda like that nifty Puerto Rican Hobbit JJ Barea (when I have time, I will whip up a Barea Hobbit pic).  Though Barea don’t gun like Jimmer does.  And is Jimmer gonna be okay not getting to jack 30 shots a game?  Please, somebody blow the dust off the Tajuan Porter Jack-Tracker, the city of Sacremento is gonna need it.

And why the hell was Spike Lee in Newark, NJ to watch the NBA Draft?!?!?  Brotha must have nothing to do, watchin the Knicks select 17^th.  Seriously!??!  Dude is desperate for attention.  Hate the Knicks, but do love MSG.

[NFL slider]

Somebody predicted (likely heard from DP show) that the lockout would be over by 7/15 so nobody will miss nothing.  Let’s end this and begin the most insane flurry of free agent signings period the league has ever seen.  I hope Mort and Adam have gotten plenty of rest cuz these bros will be dialing up Tiger Woods’s Canadian doctor for some under-the-table prescrips after day 3 of the flurry.

[USA soccer fastball]

Go girls, beat them fuckin Brazilian bitches!!  Okay, do Colombians and Brazilians get along?  Hope not, wuz lookin for an angle to get the wife interested in a soccer game on Sunday morning.  Oh well, probably just me and the dog again … sheesh, he’s not gonna like wearing that Uncle Sam hat again [bbryan shakes head and wonders why he hangs with me sometimes].

[MLB change ups]

It’s Braves @ Phillies this weekend.  Halladay, Hamels, Lee is what the fuckin Bravos get (yeah, 3 fuckin all-stars).  Game 1 goes to PHL.  Larry Jones can suck John Kruk’s only nut (yeah, not really relevant, but who cares what you think anyways).  I loathe the Bravos, so two wins outta three is needed here.

What about the Rockies and Ubaldo?  What happened?  I’m sure before I’m done scratching my head they turn it around and make an assault on the Giants before September.  Please do.  Just so Rockie/Yankee/ TSB_reader Mick will have some MLB juice on this site again (cuz the Yanks are gonna freefall in August … heard it here first brotha).

I love me some Jim Leyland and love me some Cleveland Indians (cuz of the movie) … what to do, what to do … fuck it!  Cleveland, give Detroit a BIG SHITBURGER to eat!!!  I mean, seriously, shouldn’t Cabrera have to sit home for these playoffs and rub his wife’s feet for 4 weeks after last season!??!

The Reds won’t make the playoffs and Dusty “my grandson-almost-got-run-over-at-home-plate” Baker will get shown the door, but that, nobody cares about.  I kinda enjoy dick-up-my-ass Joey Votto sitting home watchin the playoffs.  Yeah, I don’t much like that fucker, and I’m hopin Larry Jones sends him a Facebook friend request to strengthen my snowball-down-the-hill-hatred for him.

[NHL screwball]

Hockey, who gives a shit about hockey?!?!?

[uh-oh, here comes the random BRUSHBACK pitch]

Jetes is 2 hits shy of 3,000.  Can we please get this over with already!??!  My god, Colin Cowherd almost declared himself unofficial godfather to Jetes future kids this week.  I mean, I like Jetes and Colin, but to take a line from The Wolf … “Well, let’s not start sucking each other’s dicks quite yet.”  Boston will run away with AL East flag and Tampa will squeak out WC, leaving Jetes and Yanks dealing with a slew of 2012 questions.  Jetes better live it up these last few months, cuz 2012 is gonna get ugly, like, real ugly.

[uh-oh … umpire is calling an alcohol delay … not sure how long this is gonna take … pass out is likely]

Oh, pilot of the storm that leaves no trace, like thoughts inside a dream
Heed the path that led me to that place, yellow desert stream

I never want to hear again how tough Philly fans are. That guys Phils hat just got straight up dominated by the wind, and he just stood there and took it.

So the 2011 NBA Draft is even worse than the 2010?  My love for NCAA Hoops has waned this past season because of the lack of star players and monster squads.  Is a wave of mediocrity about to crash on the NBA in 3-5 years when the drafted ballers of June and last June are merely “nice” players?  The rumblings of 7 straight Heat rings may come to fruition.  Fuck me.  Please Mavs, delay the Miami dynasty for at least one spring.

Sheesh … gone are the days of PGs that roll into the Association with solid decision making.  Am I saying the sky is falling?  Watching Westbrook and Rose shoot their teams in the foot numerous times in the conference finals was brutal to take in.  Maybe Kyrie Irving and John Wall will learn from the playoffs (from their couches) and work on cutting back on the turnovers a wee bit.

I tip my cap to LeBron.  Prince James stepped his game up these playoffs and is lookin like the great player the prophecies have said all along.  But I must say, it is nice that he can kick back a couple quarters while D-Wade can make teams look foolish the way he does.  If Dirk steals the ring from Miami, it will be legendary.

Shifting gears.

I laugh at the premature Buster Posey rule chatter.  Anytime a rising star gets hurt there’s gotta be a mob-of-bleeding-hearts or story-seeking-media-types that begin pounding the table for protecting players.  Flag football, tee-ball, bumper-bowling, skee-ball, Wii Sports … these are all for those table-pounders … now go eat some ice cream and take your Pomeranian for a walk.  Buster Posey may have assisted in ousting my squad (the fightins) out of the 2010 NLCS, but I got nothing but respect for the kid and certainly don’t wanna see him go down.  I’m sure he’d stand up and say it’s all part of the game.  On an obnoxious funny note … Buster still has more range than Derek Jeter … heyo!!!

It’s almost June and the Cleveland Indians are still the best team in the AL.  WTF!?!?  Did anyone see this coming?  I’m not hatin … I’m lovin this.  Also lovin the O’s are at .500 in the AL East.  My guess is the Yanks and O’s will be swapping spots in the standings this time in 2012 (the prophecies see the Yanks falling after this summer, don’t hate me, hate the Mayans).

Another gear shift.

The rumblings are beginning.  NFL fans are not happy with the possibility of a delayed season.  See, with June comes the early drippings of hardcore fantasy football nerds salivating over NFL preview magazines.  Then July is here and the moderate NFL fan begins drooling over training camp and the Mort & Adam bus tour.  August means any dude with an interest in violence, sports, cheerleaders, beer, tailgating, MNF, wings, skipping church … will be scouring the internet and boob tube for serious gridiron action/anything.  And  I love Drew Brees calling out the owners for possibly striking the iron while it’s hot (when former union leader gene Upshaw passed away) and trying to do a large money grab.  If one week is missed, especially when week 1 has Giants vs Redskins & Cowboys vs Jets on 9/11 … the owners are gonna look like the front row fans of a Gallagher show … instead of fruit and vegetables it’s gonna be a shit show.  Don’t F with NFL fans of the Northeast.

While on the rumblings roll … I’m hearing more and more that the BCS may break away and create it’s own elite division.  Yeah, this makes perfect sense.  Seriously, it does.  The BCS presidents do not wanna give up their precious bowl system so creating a division of super conferences to avoid the Boise State monkey wrench is the inevitable.  All those mid-major conferences will go into limbo and may get combined with the upper echelon of FCS conferences, creating the largest division of NCAA football … and likely the best playoff system.  Money talks and bowl games have the biggest mouths.

Gear shift, buckle up fucko!

I’m sorry to say this, but … FUCK GOLF.  Tiger is done.  After over a decade of watching Tiger beat bitches up, I can’t draw myself to sit in front of the TV for several hours over a couple days to watch a few Euros and random Americans battle over a major.  Nope.  Not doin no more.  Out.  Of course, if Eldrick is in the final Sunday pairing at the US Open with Phil … I’m front and center like a schoolboy with a crush on his teacher.  #hypocrite-i-am

Yeah, another gear shift, go F urself …

Being a Phillies fan, I have begun an assault on Phillies blogs to let the Fightins nation know we still need a righty-bat with solid OBP skills.  Philly has a team that can run the regular season schedule and strangle the NL East flag.  But good lefty-pitching in the playoffs will handcuff the Phillies lineup.  I don’t wanna go thru another 2010 postseason.  Phillies own the Reds, but SF is trouble and I’m sure we’ll have to go thru them again, even if Posey is not around.  So sometime in July, maybe even early August, GM Amaro better grab some baller-righty-dude to ensure I get plenty of sleep in September.

Okay Reali … what are my fucking fuckups?

Enter Fictional Tony Reali (actually me, just being imaginative, cuz .. I’m like that when I pound a couple handful of IPAs … and no i don’t got big hands, but i used to wait tables back in the day … so i got skillz)

Reali: Doesn’t Rajon Rondo count as a solid young PG?

Me: Of course he does fuckstick, I was thinkin more of the younger slashers that just entered the league and that are more scorers than PGs.

Reali: Why do you keep referring to prophecies when you’re an agnostic?

Me: Maybe I’m more antagonistic than agnostic … bring something strong or go back to your corner and eat cannolis Reali … and tuck ur shirt in you Crisco-finger-dippin-guido!

Reali: Relax.  And explain why you said “Fightins nation”.

Me: [shaking head] I might as well eat a pint of stale chow-dah and call myself a sawx fan … I will now gouge my eyes with the broken pint glass I just smashed against the fuckin wall.

dismissed

You know how fans would call up sports talk radio and chatter up some galactically stupid trade idea or free agent signing?  Well, this hot stove season in MLB, Phillies fans conjuring up Cliff Lee in a Philly uni again was such a ridiculous idea.

Until tonight!?!?!

ESPNDallas.com’s Richard Durrett is reporting that Cliff Lee and the Phillies are together once again.

Huh.  How is this possible?

I don’t really care.  It’s now potentially the greatest 4-man staff ever assembled … and they’ll all be wearing Phillie unis.

• Doc Halladay
• Cliff Lee
• Roy Oswalt
• Cole Hamels

Fuck me.

If I wake up tomorrow and Cliff Lee is a Yankee or some crazy bull-shit, I will drive over to the Hawthorne Bridge and toss my self into the icy Willamette.

Otherwise …

Phillies 2011 World Series Champions

Game 4 between the Giants and Phillies was probably the most entertaining game so far in the playoffs. Although San Fran didn’t play the most sound of games, they did take advantage of and made Philly pay for their horrible mental errors and decisions. These mistakes might fly in the regular season, but not in the given situation of the Phillies. Hence Philly lost the game.

For some reason Charlie Manual decided to go with Blanton rather than Doc on 3 days rest. First inning Blanton throws to wild pitches that lead to an early Giant run. He also hit Ross the next inning.You can argue that Blanton didn’t get the loss and left with the lead, but Halladay would have longer than 4.2 innings likely 7+.

In the 5th when Philly got on the board, Victorino should have taken second base when the throw went to home for a play a the plate. A play Victorino probably makes 99% of the time, but not this time. The Phillies put a couple hits together after that, so that non-play didn’t matter. However, it was one mistake in the midst of a trend that eventually was too much for Philly to overcome…One would also think that a catcher (Ruiz) would be the last player to take a dirty/cheap shot on a fellow catcher. It looked like a clean slide, but he started his slide way late and tried to take Posey’s ankle out. It would have been fine if Ruiz was already in his slide, but he wasn’t.

In the 6th inning Ross knocks a double after a Burrell walk, go figure. Next up was Pablo with runners on 2nd and 3rd. Phillies pitcher, Durbin, gets a break on a foul ball and has the Panda 0-2. Apparently Durbin didn’t have or didn’t care about the scouting report on Sandoval. The guy swings at everything. He could have thrown nothing but breaking balls in the dirt, no chance he takes 4 to draw a walk. If somehow he does walk him, then a force is set up and not the end of the world. Instead, he throws him a fastball at the letters that he mashes to the gap…Burrell’s walk was the second lead off walk Philly pitchers allowed in the game, both ended up scoring.

Next was some bad Giant baseball. Pinch hitter, Ishikawa, came up next with no outs, runner on second, and a one run lead. Pretty standard bunt situation, especially in the “NL”. Instead, he strikes out and the Giants end the inning with Sandoval in scoring position.

Rollins and the Phillies made the same mistake in the 8th after Werth tied it with a double. For some reason Rollins, a good bunter, decided not to move Werth over to third with no outs and a tie game. He chose to pop out weakly to third instead. Then the next to hitters struck out, swinging at 6 straight sliders a foot off the plate.

The final and ultimate blunder the Phillies made was bringing in Oswalt to pitch the ninth. Bringing starters in that situation rarely work, no matter how good they are. It’s like bringing in closers when the game isn’t tied or it’s not a save situation. They almost always give up runs. Its a completely different situation and mind set, ask Joba Chamberlain. It shouldn’t really matter, but it does. And if Manuel didn’t go with Doc to start the game, then bringing in Oswalt when he did makes even less sense. He claimed Oswalt was fine and wanted to go in. Then that must make Halladay soft and not a gamer for not demanding to start the game.

Maybe the only thing McCarver has said that was right and made sense was about Oswalt’s pitch choice, or lack there of to Uribe. He noted that Oswalt shouldn’t throw Uribe anything but a fastball and he was right. There was little to no chance he would be able to put a fastball in play. The first off speed pitch he threw Uribe crushed into left, allowing the winning run to score on the tag up.

In the playoffs teams must limit both their mental and physical mistakes if they wish to succeed. On Wednesday night the Philadelphia Phillies didn’t limit their mistakes, and thus took the loss. It’s not over yet, but beating the Freak won’t be easy. However, I would rather be in the Phillies situation, down 3-1 than in the Yankee’s shoes down 3-2.

Move over Don Larsen, make room for Roy “Doc” Halladay.

Only guy to toss no-nos in reg and post season … in same season.

Time to celebrate with The Material Girl …

Reds, take a seat.

Joey Votto, you’re an ass-clown.