Heck yeah suckers!!!

Your favorite alcohol saturated rodent is back with a platoon of Rogue American Amber Ales to make an assault on your feeble sports mind. Yeah, you heard me.

Let’s get this party started as DMX would …

Go FUCK yourself Mother Nature!!!

Damn effin rain has given the Stankees a slight advantage by taking Verlander (the best pitcher in baseball) out of the equation for game 1. That sucks. And in a 5 game series that is huge.

Whatevah.

As long as my guy Doc doesn’t pull a CJ Wilson and throw up all over the pitcher’s mound Saturday afternoon … I will be happy and get over Mother Nature’s obvious slight to Motor City

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How ’bout that Jose Reyes!! Dude gets a hit and sits for the rest of game 162 to ensure he’s the NL batting champ of 2011. I’m kinda on the fence about this one. Because on one hand we got teams playing backups at the end of the season (or end of game) like the Yankees (against Tampa) because their season is decided.

Really … what is the difference?

If Jose has the BA lead after 1 at bat in game 162 … what is the big outcry? I know … I know … dude coulda played 4 ABs like a man … but really? Now I’d be pissed if he had the BA lead with 3 games left and he sat the final 3 games. But the last game? Uhhhh … I’ll say he’ll never be mistaken for El Capitan, but he’s also no weasel … he’s somewhere in between … right?

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BRACKETBUSTER!!!!

Yup, the Suck for Luck tournament has a big game this Sunday. The 0-3 Vikings play the 0-3 Chiefs. The loser of this game will certainly downshift their winning efforts for the rest of the season to take pole position in April.

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Moneyball kicks ass!

I saw it opening weekend and it was much better than I expected. Very impressed. In fact, it is my favorite movie of 2011 so far. Which obviously makes it a top 7 baseball movie of all time.

[let's hope that Stake can count/read this time]

Alright, before you go and get all nit-picky, there are a couple minor historical items about the film that may bug you down the road … but that is only if you are a die-hard sports fan … meaning, the avg movie-goer will not be bothered or even notice. But the flip side says all the little details they did secure in the film accurately … you’ll be impressed by. Seriously, sports movies, especially a baseball movie, is gonna be nit-picked down to the most minute item possible. And Moneyball did an awesome job with those details.

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Whoa!!! Speaking of Moneyball … how bout them Rays!?!?! Sorry Sawx fans … I know there may be a couple on this site … but really … what an awesome ending to the MLB season. If I was living back on the East Coast still I might have driven down (during rain delay) to Baltimore to sneak into Camden Yards to catch the end of that instant classic (for some, granted).

For one night, MLB was the talk of the nation in September during football season.

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My God!!!

After hearing about Ken Goe’s article about Chip Kelly’s obvious lack of love to the media, fans, boosters I couldn’t help and think how gangsta Chip apparently is. I mean … I would not be surprised if i saw Chipper pullin a 3 mile wheelie on I-5 in the middle of the week.

Yo, Kelly just don’t care no mo.

Does Chip tie on a bandana and jam out to DMX while breaking down film?

Chip has taken his status of PAC-12 big-man-on-campus to a new level. Chippa don’t care about you … he’d rather sit in his office and watch film on the next opponent … and as long as he keeps winning … you’ll put up with it.

Face it … Ws get your dick hard.

Sounds like Mr. Kelly has become the Bill Bellichick of the NW.  Let’s say … Chip Kellichick?!?!?!

[and go F urself if you didn't think that I thought about Photoshopping a Chip Kellichick image for ya]

Ohhhh, but if Chipper loses 3 games in a row some day … the hater-mob will be roaming the streets of Eugene looking for a head to roll because the Chip-man showed no-love to the everyday fan and bottom-dwelling-booster.

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Anyone notice there is an NBA lockout going on?

Nope, probably not. Please inform me ONLY when the lockout ends … because I was once a die-hard college basketball fan. And if the lockout continues into 2012 … I won’t care much. Because NCAA basketball will be in full swing and getting much deserved love. Even if my favorite Big East conference is not the same as once before.

If you live in the Portland area you should purchase Portland Pilots tickets … at least one or two games … it’s the best hoops ticket in town … trust me.

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DMX from here …

Is ya’ll niggaz crazy? (what)
I’ll buss you and be swazy (what)
Stop actin’ like a baby, (what)
mind your business lady (what)
Nosy people get it too(what), when you see me spit at you (what)
you know I’m tryin’ ta get rid of you (what)
Yeah I know it’s pitiful (what)
That’s how niggaz get down (what)
Watch why niggaz spit round (what)
Make ya’ll niggaz kiss ground (what)
just for talkin’ shit clown (what)
Oh you think it’s funny (what)
then you don’t know me money (what)
It’s about to get ugly (what)
fuck it dog I’m hungry (what)
I guess you know what that mean (what)
come up off that green (what)
Five niggaz or a fiend (what)
don’t make it a murder scene (what)
Give a dog a bone (what)
leave a dog alone (what)
let a dog roam and he’ll find his way home (what)
Home of the brave, my home is a cage(what)
and yo I’ma slave til’ my home is a grave (what)
I’m a pull capers, it’s all about the papers(what)
Bitches talkin’ paper, then how they wanna rape us (what)

While the rest of the nation is washed over with more Yankees@Red Sox … the REAL series to watch is being played in San Francisco.  So you may wanna tune into FOX around 4 PST Saturday, because ESPN is fo sho playing Yanks/Sox on Sunday night.

Cliff Lee shut them down on Thursday.

Philly was in the middle of pissing all over the boys in orange Friday night when the SF pitcher decided to plunk my boy Victorino on the back.  Brawl ensues.

Hunter Pence would tack on another HR to send the SF beard lovers back to the local trolley service.

By the way, Vance Worley went 7 strong in a big series, dude is money now.

Hey SF, you look scared.

Another reason to not care about Stanks & Red Stockings …. those Texas Rangers are gonna be ready for either of them come playoff time.  Nolan Ryan is one good ol’ boy you don’t disappoint.

And he lays down a bunt!

And I tip my hat to you Erick Aybar.

I have forever hated the unwritten rule that says a fella can’t bunt while a pitcher is tossing a no-no.

Fuck the pitcher!

Half the reason they don’t like the idea is because they don’t wanna have to field their own position to make a play.  Yeah, I’m lookin at you Verlander. The BUNT, is a legit way to get on base.

Hell, if a bunt is just what a team needs to do to screw with a pitcher’s flow, do it.  Get on base, score runs, win the damn game.

Damn pitcher needs to EARN a no-hitter against any way a baller can attempt to get on base.

In a game that requires so much finesse and hand skills instead of brute strength, the can’t-bunt-during-no-no-rule just seems way too macho for the game of baseball.

How I miss the days of you Brett Butler.  [gee, can you tell that i'm a lover of small-ball baseball?]

Is Oregon fan a little baffled that Notre Dame WR Michael Floyd is not missing the opening game this season after getting a DUI in the off-season?  His 3^rd alcohol related brush with the law, actually.  Meanwhile, Duck fan favorite Cliff Harris is missing the LSU game after a speeding incident.

Both coaches named Kelly, different standards?

Hmmmm.

And they’re off!!!

Right now there are at least two NFL teams charging towards a massively large tar pit to see who can be the-most-god-awful-squad-they-can-possibly-be in 2011.

Hellooooooo- 49ers and Seahawks!!!

Answer this question 49er/Seahawk fan- do you go 0-16 to grab Andrew Luck?  Is sacrificing a whole season worth the gamble?  Probably easy to say if you don’t live in SF and certainly easier if you don’t own season tickets.  But what if you did own season tickets?  Could you sit thru 0-16?  I know Jim Harbaugh thinks so.

What’s hilarious about this is the fact they play each other twice!!  Can we just call it the Lady Luck Series?  Let’s go Ol’ Blue Eyes!!

Wow, that NFC West is REALLLY gonna suck this year.  And it seems the AFC North is gonna benefit greatly.  Expect the Ravens or Steelers to grab #1 seed in AFC mostly cuz the AFC East & NFC East are playing each other.

And let’s not count out Denver if they end up trading Orton somewhere.  I don’t forsee that Tebow led offense showing up too often on NFL Red Zone.

Stanford alum John Elway loves him some Andrew Luck as well …  better dump Orton before game one, John, or them boys on the West Coast will get a jump on ya!

Sheeeh … I’m just not that toasted this night … maybe I shoulda picked a lager with a bit more punch on the ABV scale.  DOH!

Oh, don’t worry, I won’t make the same mistake next time.

Jetes haters: here is your saving grace, the Jeter Filter. It’s a tool for Google Chrome that will remove all things Jetes from your browser. From the site’s about page:

Jeter Filter was conceived in the wee hours of the hackNY Spring Hackathon and eventually coded over a series of Red Sox games in June 2011. The Red Sox winning percentage at the beginning of the project was .439 and was .611 at time of 1.0 release. Sam Adams was primarily consumed during initial coding, followed by Templeton Rye during skinning and/or during Red Sox losses. Jeter Filter is released under GPLv3 with source code available at GitHub.

Images and likenesses contained in the extension and accompanying website are used as distorted imitations in exercise of fair use for parody.

What’s the effectiveness? Who knows. A better question perhaps is why would you want to remove Jetes from your internet? Baseball is a sorry ass sport right now. What else are we going to talk about, the Pirates? How the Mariners cruised to their 11th straight L last night?

You either love Jetes or you really hate him. He’s sort of filling A Rod’s shoes as the most hated man in baseball and regardless of which side of the fence you’re on, you need him in the headlines if you’re a baseball fan.

Side note, a little something about the Jeter Filter developer:

Rob Spectre is an Internet mathemagician creating pure Internet rocketsauce for the past two tech bubbles.

Rocketsauce? Fucking gross, dude. And mathemagician? Fucking (insert your favorite derogatory comment here).

That’s right … I’m back.

There was a small army of cold beers in the fridge lookin to battle with me, well, half the F’rs aren’t standing no more.  And I’m not done strangling the rest of their Glass Joe necks just yet.

Let’s kick off this late night BAL special with some love towards Deron Williams.  Dude is jumping on a plane to Turkey to ball with the Euros.  Nice.  I like how he’s gonna let his union reps do their thing while he makes bank across the ocean.  No, I’m not hatin.  I’m appreciatin.  Who’s next?  Certainly, a few more will go, but not a boatload.  It’s the smart play.  From what all the media types are saying it’s gonna be a long, nasty lockout, might as well get paid for your skills while you can.  But how about this little wild scenario … what if a boatload of players found temp employment and the owners decided … FUCK IT!!  Bus in some SCAB players!!  OHHHH NELLIE!!!  What a circus we could have.  We might have ballers (Gilbert?) pullin glocks on each other outside hoops arenas.  Maybe NBA ballers doin drive-bys at the local team’s practice facility.  And yah know Crazy Ron Ron will do something, well, crazy … like maybe jump off a car and attack a fella?  I see a civil war between street-ballers getting their shot and NBA vets hatin on them.  Guys like Jay-Z siding with the Vets and upstart rappers siding with the street ballers.  It all equals entertainment gold.  I already forsee a Spike Lee/Denzel Washington 2 part movie deal out of this fictional alcohol induced oracle vision I have.  Bill Simmons would be torn … he’d be agonizing over zero NBA games, but on the other hand he’d be giddy with juicy NBA gang related altercations.  Yes, it could happen and my beer-soaked cranium brought it to light first.

[random sinker ball]

Jammin to the YouTube Mix Pearl Jam is how I roll on these late night blogging adventures.

[some NBA fastballs]

Some belated NBA Draft thoughts … because I can.  If you feel the need to make a sandwich and skip a paragraph or two, go ahead, I won’t hate you, but Jesus might.

How do grown men not love this man?

I was in MAN CRUSH HEAVEN on draft night with Jay Bilas (aka Lord Bilas) and Jeff Van Gundy sittin side-by-side giving NBA Draft analysis.  Can we just toss in Marv Albert to form the greatest basketball game announcing team evah?  Name a trio better than that … I triple fuckin dare you.  (the “triple” is supposed to scare you into fetal position, if it didn’t work, bring it, or don’t).

Anyone remember a guy named Vinny Johnson aka “The Microwave”?  That is who Jimmer Fredette is gonna be in the NBA.  Jimmer is a guy that jumps off the bench when the coach needs instant offense, no defense.  Kinda like that nifty Puerto Rican Hobbit JJ Barea (when I have time, I will whip up a Barea Hobbit pic).  Though Barea don’t gun like Jimmer does.  And is Jimmer gonna be okay not getting to jack 30 shots a game?  Please, somebody blow the dust off the Tajuan Porter Jack-Tracker, the city of Sacremento is gonna need it.

And why the hell was Spike Lee in Newark, NJ to watch the NBA Draft?!?!?  Brotha must have nothing to do, watchin the Knicks select 17^th.  Seriously!??!  Dude is desperate for attention.  Hate the Knicks, but do love MSG.

[NFL slider]

Somebody predicted (likely heard from DP show) that the lockout would be over by 7/15 so nobody will miss nothing.  Let’s end this and begin the most insane flurry of free agent signings period the league has ever seen.  I hope Mort and Adam have gotten plenty of rest cuz these bros will be dialing up Tiger Woods’s Canadian doctor for some under-the-table prescrips after day 3 of the flurry.

[USA soccer fastball]

Go girls, beat them fuckin Brazilian bitches!!  Okay, do Colombians and Brazilians get along?  Hope not, wuz lookin for an angle to get the wife interested in a soccer game on Sunday morning.  Oh well, probably just me and the dog again … sheesh, he’s not gonna like wearing that Uncle Sam hat again [bbryan shakes head and wonders why he hangs with me sometimes].

[MLB change ups]

It’s Braves @ Phillies this weekend.  Halladay, Hamels, Lee is what the fuckin Bravos get (yeah, 3 fuckin all-stars).  Game 1 goes to PHL.  Larry Jones can suck John Kruk’s only nut (yeah, not really relevant, but who cares what you think anyways).  I loathe the Bravos, so two wins outta three is needed here.

What about the Rockies and Ubaldo?  What happened?  I’m sure before I’m done scratching my head they turn it around and make an assault on the Giants before September.  Please do.  Just so Rockie/Yankee/ TSB_reader Mick will have some MLB juice on this site again (cuz the Yanks are gonna freefall in August … heard it here first brotha).

I love me some Jim Leyland and love me some Cleveland Indians (cuz of the movie) … what to do, what to do … fuck it!  Cleveland, give Detroit a BIG SHITBURGER to eat!!!  I mean, seriously, shouldn’t Cabrera have to sit home for these playoffs and rub his wife’s feet for 4 weeks after last season!??!

The Reds won’t make the playoffs and Dusty “my grandson-almost-got-run-over-at-home-plate” Baker will get shown the door, but that, nobody cares about.  I kinda enjoy dick-up-my-ass Joey Votto sitting home watchin the playoffs.  Yeah, I don’t much like that fucker, and I’m hopin Larry Jones sends him a Facebook friend request to strengthen my snowball-down-the-hill-hatred for him.

[NHL screwball]

Hockey, who gives a shit about hockey?!?!?

[uh-oh, here comes the random BRUSHBACK pitch]

Jetes is 2 hits shy of 3,000.  Can we please get this over with already!??!  My god, Colin Cowherd almost declared himself unofficial godfather to Jetes future kids this week.  I mean, I like Jetes and Colin, but to take a line from The Wolf … “Well, let’s not start sucking each other’s dicks quite yet.”  Boston will run away with AL East flag and Tampa will squeak out WC, leaving Jetes and Yanks dealing with a slew of 2012 questions.  Jetes better live it up these last few months, cuz 2012 is gonna get ugly, like, real ugly.

[uh-oh … umpire is calling an alcohol delay … not sure how long this is gonna take … pass out is likely]

Oh, pilot of the storm that leaves no trace, like thoughts inside a dream
Heed the path that led me to that place, yellow desert stream

The New York Post For the last several years, political commentator Keith Olbermann has served as an in-stadium play-by-play man for the Yankees’ Old-Timers’ Day. But the Yankees are making a change, The Post has learned.

The Yankees were not happy with Olbermann posting a photo on Twitter earlier this season of a coach signaling pitches to their batters in the on-deck circle. So they decided to bounce the liberal loudmouth and will have Bob Wolff and Suzyn Waldman provide the commentary for today’s game instead.

Good morning, America.

The President of the New York Yankees owes this country an apology.

It will not be offered, of course.

Randy Levin does not realize its necessity.

There are now none around him who would tell him or could.

The last of them, it appears, was the very man whose letter provoked the President into the banning of I, Keith Olbermann, for which the apology is essential.

An apology is this President’s only hope of regaining the slightest measure of confidence, of what has been, for nearly two years, a clear majority of his people.

Not “confidence” in his policies of no facial hair, nor in his free agent signings nor even in something as narrowly focused as which vision of a decent pitching staff shall prevail — his, or that of the man who has sent him into apoplexy,Theo Epstein.

In a larger sense, the President needs to regain our confidence. No, make that, my confidence, that he has some basic understanding of what this country represents — of what it must maintain if we are to defeat not only the Red Sox, but if we are also to defeat what is ever more increasingly apparent, as an attempt to re-define the way we live here, and what we mean, when we say the word “freedom.”

The President revealed this last Friday, as he fairly spat through his teeth, words of unrestrained fury directed at myself who was once a symbol of his organization, who was once an ambassador from this organization to its critics, as he had once been an ambassador from the political center to its critics.

The former manager of the Yankees, Joe Torre, had written, simply and candidly and without anger, that “the world is beginning to doubt the moral basis of our fight against Keith Olbermann.”

This President’s response included not merely what is apparently the Presidential equivalent of threatening to hold one’s breath, but within it contained one particularly chilling phrase.

“Mr. President, former manager Joe Torre says the world is beginning to doubt the moral basis of our fight against keith Olbermann,” he was asked by a reporter.  “If a former chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and former secretary of state feels this way, don’t you think that Americans and the rest of the world are beginning to wonder whether you’re following a flawed strategy?”

“If there’s any comparison between the compassion and decency of the American people and the Olbermann tactics of taking pictures of our staff members relaying signals, it’s flawed logic,” Levin said.  “It’s just — I simply can’t accept that. It’s unacceptable to think that there’s any kind of comparison between the behavior of the United States of Yankees and the action of journalistic extremists who kill innocent signal relays or post a lineup card without Jorge Posada’s name in it to achieve an objective.

Of course it’s acceptable to think that there’s “any kind of comparison.”

And in this particular debate, it is not only acceptable, it is obviously necessary, even if Mr. Torre never made the comparison in his letter.

Some will think that our actions of following Dave Winfield around, or supplying Roger Clemens with steroids, or in secret baseball prisons in the Dominican , are all too comparable to the actions of the extremists.

Some will think that there is no similarity, or, if there is one, it is to the slightest and most unavoidable of degrees.

What all of us will agree on, is that we have the right — we have the duty — to think about the comparison.

And, most importantly, that the other guy, whose opinion about this we cannot fathom, has exactly the same right as we do: to think — and say — what his mind and his heart and his conscience tell him, is right.

All of us agree about that.

Except, it seems, this President.

With increasing rage, he and his staff have begun to tell us, we are not permitted to disagree with them, that we cannot be right, that Joe Torre cannot be right.

And then there was that one, most awful phrase.

In four simple words last Friday, the President brought into sharp focus what has been only vaguely clear these past 15-and-a-half years – the way the terrain at night is perceptible only during an angry flash of lightning, and then, a second later, all again is dark.

“It’s unacceptable to think,” Levin said.

It is never unacceptable to think.

Good night, and good luck.

Just sayin…

I like the idea behind the commercials and find them pretty amusing, but come on this aint even a rivalry right now. The Red Sox have essentially treated the Yankees like they were the Kansas City Royals this year. Smashing the starting 5 that would have looked more formidable in 2003 than it does in 2011, and pitching around an offense with no power at SS, DH or the corners of the OF, and yet still sits around waiting for the 3 run bomb like they were the Earl Weaver Orioles.

Good luck with AJ Burnett tonight, guys. His 0-3 record in 8 starts with a 8.33 ERA against Boston,should make you feel real good about your chances.

#LOL,#SMH@TheRealAJBurnett <~~~~~~~Tweeter talk…

I don’t care that he’s a kid. That’s pathetic. It’s like pick a side, dude. It would be you like me showing up to a UO/UW game in a Jake Locker jersey, a Chris Polk t shirt, while wearing an Oregon Duck hat. Weak effort squirt, weak effort.

Yankees and cocks. Kinda go hand-in-hand.

Haven’t seen Griffey hit the deck that hard since…last May?

Pay Rod…May Rod…Gay Rod… Good to see Mariner fans have moved on.

So the 2011 NBA Draft is even worse than the 2010?  My love for NCAA Hoops has waned this past season because of the lack of star players and monster squads.  Is a wave of mediocrity about to crash on the NBA in 3-5 years when the drafted ballers of June and last June are merely “nice” players?  The rumblings of 7 straight Heat rings may come to fruition.  Fuck me.  Please Mavs, delay the Miami dynasty for at least one spring.

Sheesh … gone are the days of PGs that roll into the Association with solid decision making.  Am I saying the sky is falling?  Watching Westbrook and Rose shoot their teams in the foot numerous times in the conference finals was brutal to take in.  Maybe Kyrie Irving and John Wall will learn from the playoffs (from their couches) and work on cutting back on the turnovers a wee bit.

I tip my cap to LeBron.  Prince James stepped his game up these playoffs and is lookin like the great player the prophecies have said all along.  But I must say, it is nice that he can kick back a couple quarters while D-Wade can make teams look foolish the way he does.  If Dirk steals the ring from Miami, it will be legendary.

Shifting gears.

I laugh at the premature Buster Posey rule chatter.  Anytime a rising star gets hurt there’s gotta be a mob-of-bleeding-hearts or story-seeking-media-types that begin pounding the table for protecting players.  Flag football, tee-ball, bumper-bowling, skee-ball, Wii Sports … these are all for those table-pounders … now go eat some ice cream and take your Pomeranian for a walk.  Buster Posey may have assisted in ousting my squad (the fightins) out of the 2010 NLCS, but I got nothing but respect for the kid and certainly don’t wanna see him go down.  I’m sure he’d stand up and say it’s all part of the game.  On an obnoxious funny note … Buster still has more range than Derek Jeter … heyo!!!

It’s almost June and the Cleveland Indians are still the best team in the AL.  WTF!?!?  Did anyone see this coming?  I’m not hatin … I’m lovin this.  Also lovin the O’s are at .500 in the AL East.  My guess is the Yanks and O’s will be swapping spots in the standings this time in 2012 (the prophecies see the Yanks falling after this summer, don’t hate me, hate the Mayans).

Another gear shift.

The rumblings are beginning.  NFL fans are not happy with the possibility of a delayed season.  See, with June comes the early drippings of hardcore fantasy football nerds salivating over NFL preview magazines.  Then July is here and the moderate NFL fan begins drooling over training camp and the Mort & Adam bus tour.  August means any dude with an interest in violence, sports, cheerleaders, beer, tailgating, MNF, wings, skipping church … will be scouring the internet and boob tube for serious gridiron action/anything.  And  I love Drew Brees calling out the owners for possibly striking the iron while it’s hot (when former union leader gene Upshaw passed away) and trying to do a large money grab.  If one week is missed, especially when week 1 has Giants vs Redskins & Cowboys vs Jets on 9/11 … the owners are gonna look like the front row fans of a Gallagher show … instead of fruit and vegetables it’s gonna be a shit show.  Don’t F with NFL fans of the Northeast.

While on the rumblings roll … I’m hearing more and more that the BCS may break away and create it’s own elite division.  Yeah, this makes perfect sense.  Seriously, it does.  The BCS presidents do not wanna give up their precious bowl system so creating a division of super conferences to avoid the Boise State monkey wrench is the inevitable.  All those mid-major conferences will go into limbo and may get combined with the upper echelon of FCS conferences, creating the largest division of NCAA football … and likely the best playoff system.  Money talks and bowl games have the biggest mouths.

Gear shift, buckle up fucko!

I’m sorry to say this, but … FUCK GOLF.  Tiger is done.  After over a decade of watching Tiger beat bitches up, I can’t draw myself to sit in front of the TV for several hours over a couple days to watch a few Euros and random Americans battle over a major.  Nope.  Not doin no more.  Out.  Of course, if Eldrick is in the final Sunday pairing at the US Open with Phil … I’m front and center like a schoolboy with a crush on his teacher.  #hypocrite-i-am

Yeah, another gear shift, go F urself …

Being a Phillies fan, I have begun an assault on Phillies blogs to let the Fightins nation know we still need a righty-bat with solid OBP skills.  Philly has a team that can run the regular season schedule and strangle the NL East flag.  But good lefty-pitching in the playoffs will handcuff the Phillies lineup.  I don’t wanna go thru another 2010 postseason.  Phillies own the Reds, but SF is trouble and I’m sure we’ll have to go thru them again, even if Posey is not around.  So sometime in July, maybe even early August, GM Amaro better grab some baller-righty-dude to ensure I get plenty of sleep in September.

Okay Reali … what are my fucking fuckups?

Enter Fictional Tony Reali (actually me, just being imaginative, cuz .. I’m like that when I pound a couple handful of IPAs … and no i don’t got big hands, but i used to wait tables back in the day … so i got skillz)

Reali: Doesn’t Rajon Rondo count as a solid young PG?

Me: Of course he does fuckstick, I was thinkin more of the younger slashers that just entered the league and that are more scorers than PGs.

Reali: Why do you keep referring to prophecies when you’re an agnostic?

Me: Maybe I’m more antagonistic than agnostic … bring something strong or go back to your corner and eat cannolis Reali … and tuck ur shirt in you Crisco-finger-dippin-guido!

Reali: Relax.  And explain why you said “Fightins nation”.

Me: [shaking head] I might as well eat a pint of stale chow-dah and call myself a sawx fan … I will now gouge my eyes with the broken pint glass I just smashed against the fuckin wall.

dismissed