Ichi finally gets time in his home country:

AP—The Seattle Mariners and Oakland Athletics will open next season in Japan with a two-game series at the Tokyo Dome on March 28 and 29.

Seattle and Oakland had been scheduled to play there in March 2003, but the series was scrapped because of the threat of war in Iraq. The A’s will be the home team in both games, the commissioner’s office said Wednesday. The series could feature a pair of Japanese stars, the Mariners’ Ichiro Suzuki and Oakland’s Hideki Matsui, who is eligible for free agency.

This will be the fourth Japan opener, following the New York Mets and Chicago Cubs (2000), the New York Yankees and Tampa Bay (2004), and Boston and Oakland (2008).

Major League Baseball and the players’ association said the series will be dedicated to assisting rebuilding in Japan following this year’s earthquake.

Memo time! Bud: a natural disaster is not required for you to market your two best Japanese assets in their own country. Especially after the bigger of the two names will be swinging-bunting his way into the hall of fame.

Free agency will tell whether we see Hideki-san in Japan for the opener next season. With player loyalty to the league at an all time low, and the importance of “feeding the family” at an all time high, I wouldn’t expect Matsui to sign with Oakland solely for the sake of appearing in Japan next March. Hell, I could see him signing with a team in Japan and riding his career out at home. Ichiro too, in the future.

On a side note, MLB is a disaster right now. I couldn’t have paid less attention this year. Full disclosure: 48 hours ago I could not have told you who was winning the NL West, Central, and Wild Card races, that the season ended on a Wednesday and not a Sunday, and who leads the league in hitting, bombs, & RsBI. I give my beloved Mariners a ton of blame for that 13 or 14 or 15 game losing streak right in the middle of the season (while sitting at .500 and in the mix, nonetheless). What a fucking kick to the nuts to the fan base.

I also blame the product. The games are played at an excruciatingly slow pace. I don’t care to watch the batter step out, the pitcher step off, rinse, and repeat before each pitch. (Just put a fucking shot clock on the guys!) I love that pitching is up and check swing, broken bat bombs are down, but pace of play is a huge deterring factor for me.

LA Times. Former Los Angeles Dodgers outfielder Milton Bradley was arrested for the second time in less than a year, this time for an alleged battery in the San Fernando Valley, Los Angeles police said Wednesday.

Bradley, 33, was booked Tuesday afternoon on suspicion of felony battery at the Van Nuys jail, authorities said. The details of the incident were not immediately available, but officials said he was arrested by officers with the LAPD’s West Valley Division at a residence in the 5300 block of Oak Park Court.

That is the same address where Bradley was arrested by the LAPD on Jan. 18 for allegedly making threats against a woman. In that case, authorities did not identify the woman, the nature of their relationship or release details of the alleged threats.

The Los Angeles city attorney’s office announced the next month that they would not file charges in the case but instead brought Bradley in for a hearing to discuss “the most appropriate course of action” to resolve the case.

Bradley has been released on bail and is due back in court Oct. 18.

Bradley, who last played for the Seattle Mariners before being released earlier this year, has a history of anger-management issues on and off the baseball field.

In November 2004, Bradley was arrested after he allegedly confronted a police officer during a traffic stop in Ohio.

The Dodgers traded Bradley to the Oakland A’s in 2005 after he threw a plastic water bottle toward fans at Dodger Stadium and had a clubhouse confrontation with former Times reporter Jason Reid.

Never saw this coming, not in a million years. After he was unceremoniously and unfairly scapegoated, cut and blackballed by the Mariners earlier this year, we were all led to believe he had changed.  We were told he was a man trying to get back on the right track and working to recapture the magic of 2008, a year that saw him finish 17th the the MVP voting. I guess you really can’t teach old dogs new tricks, and Milton, is a dawg.

It’s always sad when one of a franchises biggest free agent acquisitions ever turns into such a bust, but what makes it even more sad, is when it’s a man you believed in. Seattle believed in you, Milton. Sodo Mojo was going to be recaptured, the historic October of 2001 was so close they could taste it. The nucleus of Felix, Smoak, Carp, Figgins, Wily Mo and Bradley was one the reverberated throughout the league. The 1927 Yankees they were not, but you felt like they had the chance.

Another tragic story involving a beloved athlete. An official end of an era, really.

Hey there Milton, what’s in like in LA County, I’m a thousand miles away but tonight your swing looks so pretty…

This how we do it, Mariners!

9-2, Mariners. Ball game over. 17 game losing streak over. Mariners win, theee MAAAAAAARINERS….WIN!

The M’s get to number 17 in style with 1 run on 1 hit (1 goddamn hit?), and getting mowed down 18 times on strikes. Ichi and Ryan notched hat tricks, Olivo clocked in with the ole Golden Sombrero. Most teams would take 3 runs in 7 innings by their starting pitcher at Yankee Stadium. The Mariners, on the other hand, know that’s a losing proposition (Doug Fister dropped to 3-12 on the season…with a 3.33 ERA).

Enough scoffing, on to predictions: when will the streak end? Today isn’t the worst bet as we have King Felix v. Phil Hughes. I would be confident but “King” couldn’t beat Red Sox whipping boy John Lackey last Friday. The M’s host a 3-game set v. Tampa Bay this weekend, then Oakland on Monday. My guess is sometime during that Oakland series it will end.

This streak is reaching all-time bad levels, fellas.

Don’t call it a comeback
I been here for years
Rockin my peers and puttin suckas in fear
Makin the tears rain down like a MON-soon
Listen to the bass go BOOM
Explosion, overpowerin
Over the competition, I’m towerin
Wreckin shop, when I drop these lyrics that’ll make you call the cops
Don’t you dare stare, you betta move
Don’t ever compare
Me to the rest that’ll all get sliced and diced
Competition’s payin the price

Awwwwwwwwwww …. YEAH!

Your favorite man-rodent is back with a bucket of chilled cervezas!

I’m mixin  things up a bit … no, not talkin rail drinks, I drink almost monogamously Oregon’s juice of the gods … beer.  Mixin like this … I’m tossing mama said knock you out lyrics (leavin out the chorus) in between my mini-rants …why … because I can.  Alright, stop shakin your head and roll the ball out to check this ball game in.  Thanks, I just dusted you and slammed on your crooked skull … get the rock from the ballboy and check it back in.

Let’s go.

How bout them muther-fuckin Pirates battling for the NL Central flag!?!  I am totally backing this.  A Philly/Steel City NLCS would be awesome.  And yeah, I know Colin Cowherd would spit out TV ratings that MLS would laugh at, but fuck it!  It’s a Keystone state NLCS.  You know FOX would roll out all those “We are family” Pirates footage … sweet stuff.  Okay, maybe not sweet, maybe “awesome” before Neil Patrick Harris made awesome so damn …. awesome.

Dave Parker & Willie Stargell … maybe some Kent Tekulve.  Oh fuck yeah.  No baseballer had the combined look of 70s cool and 80s nerd like Mr. Tekulve.  Dude rocked the submarine pitch in those Pirate pajamas.  Tekulve was the man … period.  Oh yeah, “Pops” Stargell could destroy a Spalding or two into the outfield bleachers when he really needed too.

Go get it Cool J …

Don’t u call this a regular jam
I’m gonna rock this land
I’m gonna take this itty bitty world by storm
And I’m just gettin warm
Just like Muhummad Ali they called him Cassius
Watch me bash this beat like a skull
Cuz u know I had beef wit
Why do u riff with me, the maniac psycho
And when I pull out my jammy get ready cuz it might go
BLAAAAW, how ya like me now?
The river will not allow
U to get with, Mr. Smith, dont riff
Listen to my gear shift
I’m blastin, outlastin
Kinda like Shaft, so u could say I’m shaftin
Old English filled my mind
And I came up with a funky rhyme

Later, Yao Ming.  Sorry bro.  I’m gonna miss your skill set and your personality.  That big clunky China-man was a refreshing spill of soy sauce in the Association.  Yao just ran up and down the court, made his shots, blocks, rebounds, and followed them up with that goofy smile of his.  Class dude.  The NBA’s big loss and our loss.  But hey, we still got Melo and Ron-Ron!  Woo-hoo!  (tongue-firmly-in-cheek)

Hey Portland, still wanna hold on to your boy Greg Oden after seeing Yao pack his bags en route to China?  I say, dump the stock … now.  Or as Gordon Gekko would say … “It’s a dog with fleas, kid.”  Don’t keep waiting around for this fella to make good on his “potential”.  He’s gonna get hurt again.  And again.  True, maybe he stays healthy for one glorious season, but do the Blazers really have a championship team?  No.  These brothers can’t even get past round one.  Move on.

Shadow boxin when I heard you on the radio (HUUUH!!!)
I just don’t know
What made you forget that I was raw?
But now I got a new tour
I’m goin insane, startin the hurricane, releasin pain
Lettin you know that you can’t gain, I maintain
Unless ya say my name
Rippin, killin
Diggin and drillin a hole
Pass the Ol’ Gold

OMG!

Can we please get the players and owners of the NFL to agree to this deal so we all can roll back into some normalcy this summer?!?!  When the deal is done … the flurry of free agent signings is gonna be fun to kick back and watch.  NFL ESPN nerds Mort & Adam will be slamming Rockstar energy drinks like bartenders working a double at the boardwalk bar on Labor Day weekend in between live SportsCenter, NFL Live, ESPN Radio interviews … non-stop for probably 5 days straight.  Maybe a drinking game could be conjured up? … like, drink for every bag under Mort & Adam’s eyes during each on location SportsCenter update.

Over/Under on Mort & Adam daily coffee purchases is at 32.5 …. place your bets.

Shotgun blasts are heard
When I rip and kill, at WILL
The man of the hour, tower of power, I’ll devour
I’m gonna tie you up and let you understand
that I’m not your average man
when I got a jammy in my hand
DAAAAAM!!!!! Oooooohh!!
Listen to the way I slaaaaay, your crew
Damage (UHH) damage (UHH) damage (UHH) damage
Destruction, terror, and mayhem
Pass me a sissy so suckas I’ll slay him
Farmers (What!!!) Farmers (What!!!)
I’m ready (we’re ready!!!)
I think I’m gonna bomb a town (get down!!)
Don’t u neva, eva, pull my lever
Cuz I explode
And my nine is easy to load
I gotta thank God
Cuz he gave me the strength to rock
HARD!! knock you out, mama said knock you out

Alright … LL has cooled off … so we’re goin machine gun Kelly style now … and no, I’m not talkin about Chip Kelly (control yourself you Eugene wankers) … you really think I can toss around cases full of 25K cash out to people? … no!   I’m just a dude that loves beer and blogging … get over yourself!

Locked and loaded … fire!

Tiger is falling off the deep end … Steve Williams was his right hand man whether he admits it or not.  Rory is the man now, just give the Irish lad a big hug and accept it already.  Cuz ya know, Rick Reily is strapping on his knee pads right now.  HEYO!!!!

The Mets potential fire sale has me giddy.  Love it.  Unless of course those damn Bravos get Carlos Beltran.  Then I might grimace a bit.  Just a dream sequence … I’d very much enjoy spraying weedkiller over the city of Atlanta right now … just to ensure those bastards don’t make a late run.

Anyone else tired of hearing the name Willie Lyles?!?!?  Sheesh.

After hearing all the US Women Soccer chatter … my thoughts are … the girls did their best.  A lot of us got wrapped up in them winning the finals over the puny Japanese team.  But you know what, them Japs came to play.  They beat Germany.  And yes, the US beat Brazil.  But “domination” in soccer is very similar to “time of possession” in football, it means nothing if you do not SCORE.  The American women did not put the ball in the net, thus … they did not dominate.  I watched the game against North Korea where they had many opps to put them away early and didn’t (US won 2-0, should have been 5-0).  Let’s not hate on them because we all wanted the storybook ending to come true.

Okay, let me translate that last part … we Americans were expecting the happy ending from the little Asian women but didn’t get it, so we had to blame somebody … unfortunately … we pointed blame to the girls who walked us in the door.  Yeah, the adorably cute US girls.

Oh, and never say I’m not a nice guy … in case you did not know … Borders going-out-of-business sale has begun!  I scored a 20% discount on “Moneyball” … cuz I just love geeky-saber stats and movies.  But you can also score a deal on flashy toilet paper as well.

Meerkat out.

AP - A pregame pep talk failed to fix the slumping Seattle Mariners.

Rajai Davis stole two bases before scoring on John McDonald’s sacrifice fly in the 14th inning and the Toronto Blue Jays beat Seattle 6-5 Tuesday night, extending the Mariners’ losing streak to 10 games.

It is Seattle’s longest slide since a 12-game skid in 2008.

Greg Halman hit a three-run homer and Brendan Ryan added a solo shot for the Mariners, who held a players-only meeting on the field before batting practice, but couldn’t stop their slide.

An ‘on field’ players only meeting? Seriously guys, get behind closed doors and take the gloves off.

And screw playing .500 ball for more than half the season, time to let the true colors burst through. And by ‘true color’s, I mean stats like these:

-10 straight losses.

-Ichiro leads the team in hitting…at .260

-3 guys are on pace to knock in at least 50 runs.  Smoak the only one on pace for over 70.

-Smoak and Olivo lead with 12 HRs, only two others have more than 3.

Yankees and cocks. Kinda go hand-in-hand.

Haven’t seen Griffey hit the deck that hard since…last May?

Pay Rod…May Rod…Gay Rod… Good to see Mariner fans have moved on.

BOOM! Dislocated shoulder there for sure, no doubt in my mind. People always talk about how the west coast is soft, the fans are weak, blah, blah, blah. But what that security guard just did should erase all doubts that we are hard as shit up here in the great Pacific Northwest. Between $5 espressos, smoked salmon and Kashi, we just run around getting our Casey Matthews on and laying fools out. No pussy taser like they roll with in Philly, this guy just straight up jacked that streaker the old fashioned way. This guy is probably a mouth breathing Sounders fan as well.

PS-Of the 4 streakers at Safeco that night, at least this guy had the decency to keep his clothes on.

PPS-Is it still called ‘streaking’ when you’re fully clothed?

Your Seattle Mariners dump the Twins 3-0, to take 2 out 3 against those pesky Twinkies at Target Field.

Erik Bedard doing his best impression of everyone’s early Cy Young leader, Josh Beckett, pitched 6 sterling innings of shutout ball. When Hargrove(?) took the ball from the Canadian Bull, he handed it over to David Pauley who threw two scoreless innings in relief, Brandon League pitched a perfect ninth for his 12th save in 15 attempts.

Adam Kennedy with an RBI double, Ryan with a run scoring single and Gutierrez with a solo bomb in the 4th were all the Mariners would need on this day.

The Mariners have won 7 of 8 to climb to 24-25 on the year and only sit 1 game back of the Texas Rangers for 1st in the AL West and head home for a series with the Yankees this weekend. Aside from the fact that it’s odd to see NY actually play a fucking road game this year, how about Mariner fans wake up and actually bring more than 13,000 people to the park. Come see Pineda and his 6-2 record with a 2.16 ERA on the bump tomorrow. Go see the King mow down the elderly on Friday, hell even I’m making the trek up for that one. Honestly, with Pineda, The King and Vargas going against Burnett, Nova and Colon, the M’s have the pitching advantage every single game in this series.

SODO MOJO!

We're Contenders Now by movieclips

SEATTLE (AP)—Slumping Milton Bradley was cut by the Seattle Mariners on Monday, leaving the temperamental outfielder again looking for a new job.

The Mariners designated Bradley for assignment, giving them 10 days to trade, release or send him to the minors. He was making $12 million this season.

“The situation with Milton is that we determined he’s not part of our future and not part of our present,” Mariners general manager Jack Zduriencik said.

The 33-year-old Bradley hit .218 with two homers and 13 RBIs in 28 games. He was suspended for one game last week for bumping an umpire, ejected Friday for arguing a called third strike and booed by home fans over the weekend for the perception he was dogging on defense.

“It was not a particular incident,” Zduriencik said. “It’s just an issue with our evaluations of where we are and where we are going, and our estimates were that he did not fit. That’s why the decision was made.”

Asked if Bradley had a negative impact on the clubhouse, Zduriencik said: “That’s hard to say. I don’t know that. I think it gets down more to what we’re trying to accomplish and where we’re headed.”

The Mariners also cut utilityman Ryan Langerhans. He hit .171 with three home runs and six RBIs in 19 games.

Just think of the shit storm that is brewing right now in Seattle now that Milton got cut from the Mariners. If you think Milton gets a little pissed when he looks at strike 3 or a teammate gets punched at first, just wait. Fuck me I don’t even want to know how he’s going to react to getting cut. By the Mariners also. That pretty much has to be a carerr ender when the Mariners say, “We don’t think you are good enough to be on our roster”.

Wait a minute….I’m getting news that the Mets are offering Milton a 50 year contract worth 1.1 million a year and a clause that every odd year Milton can come to town and fuck the owners wife. Those savvy Mets just making great move after great move.

On a serious note here. I’m so tired of Mariner honks thinking that the Mariners are good and somehow will win the West. Are you shitting me. I’ve said some pretty over the top things in my life, but I have no problem saying this and meaning every word of it. Milton Bradley and Miguel Olivo were the worst 3-4 hitters in baseball history. There is no other team in baseball that those 2 would ever hit 3-4 on, including every minor league team and even my adult baseball league. And if you think that this is the base to winning a division you are bordering on having a mental disorder. King Felix and Ichiro are good. Pineda and Smoak are on the verge of being good, but outside those 4 players you have nothing. And 4 good players don’t win you anything. Just be happy that you don’t have to deal with Milton anymore and chalk this up to having a winning season.