LeBron James Drives – Fathead Jr.

Seriously dude, like not to be a dick, but get over it.

LeBron is the best thing that happened to Cleveland since Roger Dorn, food stamps and crack-cocaine. Can’t you at least show some gratitude? You should be rubbing one out to the memories of the King, not throwing some curse on the guy.

Oh well, maybe you guys can get Larry Nance and Mark Price to come out of retirement to fill the seats at The Q.

Bull shit.

If nothing else, it would greatly expand on his empire and probably guarantee him a VIP spot in heaven.

Let’s just get the obvious question out of the way–Why should LeBron leave his home town team in Cleveland?

The answer is simple. I mean, come on, it’s fucking Cleveland. Cleveland sucks, this is not a surprise to anyone. Name one good thing Cleveland has going for it (and no, buying a house for the price of a PS3 doesn’t count)? There is nothing good about Cleveland in general, and especially it’s sports teams. Cleveland is so awful even the critically acclaimed Major League trilogy eventually relocated to Salt Lake City.

This off-season was the make-or-break time for the Cavs and the Akron Hammer. Even with the best individual player in the NBA, the Cavs couldn’t get a look from any of the marquee free agents. Amare scoffed, and Bosh treated the potential sign and trade possibilities like a parent just discovering one of their kids friends went ‘upper tank’ in their bathroom while they were on vacation in Cabo. If they couldn’t get anyone now, they never will.

Cleveland is for losers, and Bron isn’t a loser. No need to keep dazzling the world, only to end up getting bounced early in the playoffs because your second best player is named “Williams” or “Hickson.”

LeBron going to South Beach would not only guarantee mass championships, but it would send a great message to the kids. And after all, it’s all about the kids.

Sure, he could stay home in a toxic marriage for the max deal, but isn’t that generally just considered a cash grab? No one likes the cash grab I thought. Essentially it would be like A Rod pillaging the Rangers payroll, just so he could buy another mirror to make out with.

But by taking less money to go to the Heat, LeBron would be showing that you can’t put a price on love and that the whole is greater than the sum of it’s parts.

Go down south my friend. Hang with Trina, Trick and Rick Ross. Show the world what happens when you check ego at the door and let it be known that winning is more important than money and individual accolades.

The one thing they could really use is a center. Someone like a Kendrick Perkins would be perfect to complement “the big 2.” A big man who takes up space and doesn’t need the ball would be the perfect fit. We’ll soon find out what the Heat are going to do but for right now I still don’t think Bosh is enough to put them over the top.

Lebron James is planning to invite six teams to meet him over the first three days of free agency, and rap mogul Jay-Z and Russian billionaire Mikhail Prokhorov will be part of a New Jersey Nets contingent that will make the first presentation on July 1 in the Akron, Ohio, area, league sources told Yahoo! Sports.

James and his advisors plan to have the Nets, New York Knicks,  Chicago Bulls, Los Angeles Clippers, Miami Heat and Cleveland Cavaliers make presentations. Yahoo! Sports first reported on Thursday night that James would be taking appointments with teams on July 1 to begin his free-agency process.

The Bulls have emerged as the favorites for James, and the Heat and Nets are making a strong push, too. The Knicks and Clippers appear to be longer shots to sign James. The Cavaliers remain a viable choice because of James’ seven seasons there and the opportunity for him to make as much as $30 million more re-signing with his hometown team.

When did the Clippers become one of the 6 teams to get Lebron. Am I mistaken in that Donald Sterling still owns them, because there’s no way his cheap ass will ever fork out that kind of dough for 1 player. He’s to busy dealing away any young talent he gets, sexually harassing women, racially discriminating against people and promising to build homeless centers that never get built. Gotta love the Clipper franchise.

As for the other teams I’ll throw out Miami as well. I just don’t see Lebron heading to South Beach with Wade and Riles, he wants to be the man and Wade is King of Miami.

So that narrows it down to the Nets, Bulls, Knicks and Cavs. They are saying that the Bulls are the front runners, but I just don’t see why. Lebron wants to be known as the best ever and to go to Chicago where the best ever played he would have to achieve more than what Jordan did, and lets be honest here thats just not going to happen. The Bulls have an ok looking team and Rose looks like he will be a stud I just don’t see them ripping off titles. Other than Rose I’ll take the Cavs roster right now over them.

The Knicks have been talking about getting the King for over a year now and sorry Knicks fans that’s not going to happen. Would it be great to watch Lebron in Mike D’Antoni’s offense. Yeah, but that organization and team are so bad who would want to play for them.

So that leaves the 2 teams I think Lebron has a chance to play for next year. The Cavs and the Nets. I want to say that Lebron will stay in Cleveland and be at home, but the more I think about it the more I’m leaning towards the Nets. They have a new owner who will spend money, they have a new coach who has been in big playoff series, they have some young talent that will be good and they have Lebron’s buddy in the Jigga Man. Everything adds up to Lebron landing in New Jersey. Will they win a title if Lebron just showed up today. No, but if they pickup a good veteran player and Derrick Favors isnt a complete bust they will be competitive this year and are only a couple years away from being contenders.

Pros

-More money

-An opportunity to succeed at the highest level of basketball (if in fact that is a desire)

-He could be coached by LeBron James (if LeBron decides to return as player/coach/GM)

-More money

Cons

-Leaving a top-notch college program

-Misses a chance to be in the elite category of coaches like Wooden, Smith, and Coach K(ing floor slapper)

-If LeBron doesn’t come back to Cleveland, it would an unprecedented disaster of a decision

I don’t know why Izzo is considering this jump right now.  Generally a coach needs to decide to make, or not make, the jump to a better college program or the NBA within a reasonable amount of time.  This slots his timeline well before the free agent summit and ensuing signings that will change the landscape of the NBA (regular season, that is.  It will take injuries for the Lake Show and Celtics to not be the best playoff teams next year anyway.) 

At face value, there is a lot to respect and like about Izzo.  He’s boisterous on the sidelines, his teams generally over achieve, they play well-coached team basketball, and he has the cheeseball look of a college head coach. 

But this off season has really brought out how much he likes to be courted.  A guy with his credentials should be courted by a team that is stacked.  Not an organization that is a train wreck.  The Cavs have no GM, don’t know if their best player is returning, they’ve put another couple players on the trading block, and they just fired a head coach who won 60 games in consecutive seasons. 

WTF is Izzo thinking?  I think the best argument I could buy right now is that this is another Pete Carroll bail-while-you-can situation.

My uncle is the general contractor at the Q and has been for the last 7 years. He is good friends with a lot of guys at the Q including some of the bigger boys in the organization and knows Gilbert personally. I was just told from my brother that a very reliable source informed my uncle that Delonte has been banging Gloria James for some time now. Somehow I guess Lebron found out before game four and it has destroyed our chemistry and divided our team. This is no joke, the only player worse then LeBron has been Delonte. I am not making this up, I wish it wasn’t true but it happened. Wait and see if LeBron stays you will not see Delonte in a cavs uni again.

Or maybe you saw this email:

A large number of NBA employees received a VERY interesting email today regarding a developing LeBron James story. I figured before the ESPN assholes get wind of it, you guys should break the story. The word from David Stern’s office is that Delonte West has been sleeping with LeBron’s MOTHER for a couple months now, and LeBron has recently found out. For some reason Delonte is still alive, but not for long – when Cleveland fans find out that for this reason LeBron wants out of Cleveland no matter what. This could explain Delonte’s decreased playing time of late, and who knows – maybe why LeBron hasn’t seemed to have his head fully in the game.

This almost certainly is someone’s cute way of explaining why LeBron started playing like shit in game 4, and why Delonte West stopped playing at all. Delonte West, who was averaging over 25 minutes a game,  played only 20-9-14 in the last 3 games.  I’m guessing it had more to do with the fact that West had 9 turnovers, 0 3-pointers and 3-rapings from Rondo in the first 3 games of the series.  But let’s not let facts get in the way of a fun rumor.

Cavs let go of Mike Brown (SI.com)

What surprises me is the shock from the nation. Clearly LeBron was the best player in the series, but count it down from there and it is easy to see why the Celtics advanced.

Rondo, Pierce, Garnett and Allen, do you dare say the Cavs had a better player than them? I didn’t think so.

The Cavs were outclassed in this series, so there is zero reason to be shocked that LBJ didn’t escape this round.

Shit on The King if you want, but we all know he will eventually win multiple rings. I for one hope he stays in Cleveland, because 3 rings in C Town equals 6 rings for a guy in LA.

Lay off Bron Bron, as he will eventually be placed in the pantheon of Jordan, Bird and Magic. You know it, I know it and your dick knows it.