Northern Iowa the new Cinderella
Posted on 24. Mar, 2010 at 4:11 am by SKI in Basketball, NCAA Basketball
Today I’m bringing you a potential new addition to the Sports Brewery team. His name will be anonymous today but if you see a new name here soon that’s who article this is. So hopefully you enjoy this, but if not feel free to bash the living shit out of it.
As another March Madness opening weekend has come and gone, and the stories of the biggest losers has paled in comparison to the intrigue of some of the stories from the biggest winners in the first two rounds of the big dance. Since my original tournament darlings the BYU Cougars couldn’t pull out a victory against their second round opponent, I’ve now been forced to look to a new source of hope and inspiration. For the record, the only reason BYU was my sleeper is because of a brilliant fan support sign idea I had involving a big picture of Jimmer Fredette’s face next to a picture of mid-90s Keenan Ivory Wayans face and big caption that said “The Jimmer Man.” If, for some unknown reason you don’t get that reference, I’m glad. That being said, Jimmer couldn’t get it done, so the door was ajar for a little mid-major to kick it open and win my heart. First of all, you can’t help for cheer for a 7-foot white guy that looks like it would be a struggle for him to count to ten with shoes on. There’s just nothing like that experience, because you feel shitty and un-athletic for never making anything out of the meager athletic ability you were blessed with, but also feeling good because you are watching a guy that looks like Sloth from the Goonies mob on a powerhouse like Kansas. But as I sat there in my living room, watching my unnecessarily mammoth 57-inch HD television, Cupid shot me through the heart. I was immediately smitten by Farouhkmanesh. Not Ali, the kid that twines the 3-ball for Northern Iowa, but his father, Mr. Faroukhmanesh, whom CBS showed numerous times in the stands as Northern Iowa upset Kansas in the second round. The fact that this Iranian immigrant could come over here playing volleyball, marry a volleyball player and have a short, very white son that can bomb 3s is astonishing. But couple it with the ‘stache he’s rocking, I’m putting a cold call out there that this man very well could have built or somehow been integral in the construction of nuclear weaponry to be used in war or profited it by on the black market. While I don’t have proof…yet, I wouldn’t sleep on the Iowranian Assassin and Northern Iowa.
2 Responses to “Northern Iowa the new Cinderella”
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3d
24. Mar, 2010
Oh man, how disgusting is that?
Or awesome…
goodplaye
24. Mar, 2010
i think i have a pretty good clue who this writer is and just hearing you talk about un-athletic white guys with brutal facial hair is comical…i’ll leave it at that.