The Sports Brewery » SKI

Gary Busey + Kia = Best commercials ever

SKI — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 19:15:53 +0000

Oh Busey you amazing nutjob. How could you not want to go out and buy a Kia after watching these commercials? I was halfway out the door till I realized this was in Pittsburgh and Busey might not be there actually selling cars, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he actually was.

I’m hoping that if you tell them Gary sent you then that means you get the special deal of a Kia, an 8ball of blow and a bottle of xanax.

PS…I really want to go party with the party patrol. Busey, a giant guinea pig, some joker and a blonde dime piece. I don’t know how you couldn’t have a great time with that crew

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AAIYwHjfyQA&feature=related

The entire state of Wisconsin is on suicide watch

SKI — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 20:46:30 +0000

If everyone in Wisconsin didn’t already want to kill themselves after the loss to Oregon in the Rose Bowl, then last night’s game against Michigan State has definitely pushed them over the edge.

Poor clock management strikes down the mighty badgers yet again.

Just a crack squad running the clock at the Kohl center. I thought the home clock was supposed to help the home team not send the fans running for their nooses.

Just to stick it to Wisky a little more here’s Oregon’s Rose Bowl highlights brought to you by MadMike1951

Stanford kicker summons his inner Ray Finkle

SKI — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 22:55:33 +0000

I spoke with Jordan Williamson’s mother and this is what she had to say about the kick.

“This was all that Dan Zychlinski’s fault, everyone know’s that. If he would have held the ball laces out like he was supposed to Jordan would have never missed that kick. Dan Zychlinski should die of gonorrhea and rot in hell”.

Poor Jordan Williamson he has a lot to look forward to in life after missing that kick. A stint at the Shady Acre’s mental institution until he changes into a women to become chief of police. It will all be worth it though when he kidnaps Dan Zychlinski right before the Super Bowl. At least we all know how this story ends.

Fun Fact: Holder Dan Zychlinski is actually from Tampa, Florida. Memo to all football teams. Don’t have a holder named Dan form Florida.

Yorvit Torrealba suspended 66 games in Venezuelan league for “striking” an umpire

SKI — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 18:06:15 +0000

A 66 game ban for that? Is the Venezuelan league serious with that ruling. 66 games for shoving a guy in the face who is wearing a mask. To get 66 games I feel you should have to drop the ump with one punch, throw your dip on his unconscious face, kick him in the nuts then walk off doing a dance. 66 games for Yorvit for that? Vlade Divac and every soccer player in the world thinks that umpire was selling that shove too much. Dude started staggering away like he got caught with a right hook to the jaw.

I’m sure Yorvit is distraught that he can’t play in the Venezuelan league for 66 games. It must be a shame to not have to ride on old 70′s Greyhounds to games or fly in a plane like the one in Major League. Oh well, looks like Yorvit will have to go back to the majors where you fly in private jets and get to berate the staff because your prime rib is too dry. Sucks for you Yorvit.

Morning Hangover: Portland man assaults 3 people at Toys R Us with a light sabre

SKI — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 16:00:21 +0000

OregonLive- Police arrested a man who allegedly assaulted three people with a blue light saber at a Hayden Island Toys R Us Wednesday night.

A 9-1-1 caller reported the incident about 9:50 p.m. and said the man was inside the store, 1800 Jantzen Beach Center, swinging the “Star Wars” weapon of choice at customers, said Sgt. Pete Simpson, a spokesman for the Portland Police Bureau. While the caller was on the phone, the man then left the store — light saber in hand — and walked out to the parking lot.

Officers tried to arrest the man, but he kept swinging the light saber at them, Simpson said. One tried to use his Taser on the suspect but the device didn’t work.

Another officer used his Taser and made contact, but the man knocked one of the wires away with the light saber.

The officers finally arrested the man after grabbing him and pinning him to the ground. The suspect, identified only as a 33-year-old Hillsboro man, was treated by medics at the scene and taken to an area hospital for a mental evaluation. He faces “several criminal charges” after he is evaluated, Simpson said.

A lot of nerd just came a little bit looking at this picture

Not a great effort here by the Portland fuzz.

Are you trying to tell me that 2 of Portland’s finest can’t take down old Yoda here swinging a plastic light sabre? Message to the cops. It’s made of plastic not energy like it is in the movie. It’s not going to cut your arm off if he hits you with it. Shit I broke one of those light sabres in half on my brothers arm and I barely swung it hard.

Just going to have to chalk this one up as a W for all the nerds in the world. Rejoice today nerds, but remember that these victories are few and far between for you, so continue to make your millions by running the world and crack a bottle of Boone’s Farm and get wild tonight.

Lingerie football league fight…and I thought these bitches were scary before

SKI — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 20:37:07 +0000

Man shit just be popping off in the LFL. I’ve never been so scared and aroused at the same time in all my life.

Even though these are chicks in lingerie they were getting after it better than 95% of baseball and basketball brawls. I think there were actually more punches landed in that 20 seconds of fighting then there has been in the last decade of baseball.

The big question I have after watching that video is, why the fuck don’t we have an LFL team in Oregon? It seems only logical since we can’t draw enough for an NFL or MLB team, but we certainly could for some hot chicks in panties playing football. Shit would probably draw better than the Blazers do.

PS…I’m straight in love with the chick in the green at the .20 mark strutting out after the brawl. I don’t know what she looks like, but I know that she’s the one

Sports Brewery bowl pick’em contest

SKI — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 20:00:26 +0000

The bowl season is right around the corner, so we here at the Sports Brewery felt we should hold a contest to see who is the Bowl Pick’em champion.

Now if you mother fuckers would have bought more shirts we could have had a better prize, but since the “I love my Street Agents’ shirts are flying off the rack we are going to have to offer a prize of what we already have in stock.

So the winner of the Bowl Pick’em title will get two of our finest Sports Brewery glasses along with 2 t-shirts.

The real prize here is this gem, signed by Justin Tigner himself.

To sign up go here and click join a group.

The group ID# is 25565 and the password is: bennett for life

Good Luck and don’t be surprised to see “Bennett is God”coming home with the title.

*All Sports Brewery employees cannot win the prize, but probably will win the pick’em so top non SB person gets the prize

Morning Hangover: 2 little kids have a taekwondo match and embarrass themselves and America

SKI — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 16:00:52 +0000

This is a prefect example as to why kids in America are such pussies now. Look at these fucking parents cheer and laugh as little Timmy misses his 50th straight kick. Well guess what parents. As your little kid is having fun and laughing in his karate class little Dae Han in Korea is already training to be a killer. Don’t believe me? Look at the difference between the 2 videos and tell me you aren’t scared.

I really hope there isn’t a Best of the Best 5, because it would be a short ass movie with all the US fighters getting the absolute shit kicked out of them. Even with James Earl Jones training them and a 75 year old Phillip Rhee they still would have no chance.

Brandon Roy to retire due to his bad knees

SKI — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 17:30:12 +0000

Chris_Broussard

“Sources say Brandon Roy to announce medical retirement due to degenerative knees, possibly as soon as today”

I’m having very mixed feeling right now hearing about this news of B. Roy retiring because of his shitty knees. On one hand it sucks that Roy is having to call it quits so early in what looked like as a great career, but on the other hand I see this as making the Blazers a better team.

I can already tell that a lot of people are going to disagree with what I’m going to say, but tough shit I’m going to say it anyway. Roy as he is now (if he could play) would have killed the Blazers this year.

This is LaMarcus Aldridge’s team now and I don’t think Roy would have thought that if he played. Once you are a superstar that transition into a role player doesn’t come easy. Look at Vince Carter and Grant Hill. Vince Carter is still trying to transition into being a role player after being the most exciting player in the NBA. Carter now with what seems like a full body of injuries, he is nothing better than a spot up shooter coming off the bench. He still acts like he’s a superstar with how many shots he takes, but all that does is kill the team. Grant Hill at one pont could have been argued as the best player in the NBA at the time. A busted ankle and what seemed like 4 years off and Hill was just a shell of what he once was. Now Hill has actually turned into a solid role player that will chip in 12 a game, but right after he hurt himself he kept trying to come back to quick and ended up hurting himself and his team for doing it.

I thought Roy would have been a great player coming off the bench to chip in 12 a night if he was willing to do that, but you could tell from the playoffs that he still has that mindset like he was still the man. And yes I know that game 4 against the Mavs he was the man, but that Roy wasn’t showing up that often.

The other reason that Roy would have hurt the Blazers is that now he can really only play a half court offense ,and this Blazer team now is set up to get out and run. Watching the playoffs last year you could see the flow change for the offense when Roy would come in the game. It went from watching more of a Suns offense to a the Spurs. By taking Batum, Matthews or Wallace out you lose 3 big players in the running game and stuck with Roy who could barely make it up and down the court.

I still love Roy as a player and am sad to see such a career ending, but as a Blazer fan who wants an NBA title him leaving isn’t a bad thing. With the cap space and now not having to tailor things around the former face of the Blazers I expect to see Aldridge fill that role as team leader and players like Batum and Matthews to be even better with the extra minuets that would have been used for Roy.

Roy will always be the one that lead the way to the new Blazers and hope to see him keep doing something basketball related. He will always have the best patchy beard in NBA history.

Who’s excited for Madonna and Cirque du Soleil for the Super Bowl halftime show? Exactly what I thought..Nobody

SKI — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 17:30:14 +0000

The Wrap- Wardrobe malfunction, take two? If anyone knows how to provoke, it’s Madonna, who will headline the Super Bowl halftime show Feb. 5 with performers from Cirque du Soleil. The Super Bowl performance, at Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis, will coincide with the release of Madonna’s next single, “Give Me All Your Love,” the first tune off her 12th studio album, scheduled for release in the spring.

How can this

And this not be great

I’m not exactly sure what the Super Bowl committee is thinking with this combo, but whoever suggested this needs to be beaten to death with one of Madonna’s boney arms. I know the trend for the halftime show is to trot out someone who was famous in the 70′s, but I thought after last years Usher and Black eyed peas combo they would continue to keep the show up to date. I know Pitbull is up for selling out for something that makes people hate watching tv. Instead they decided to dig up Madonna’s skeleton and add in all the freaks from the Cirque.

I’m glad that I’ll either be too drunk to watch the halftime show or so uninterested that I’ll skip halftime and the 2nd half all together. Smart money would be on both.